Homeschool Family

The comedian who made this is a homeschooler. Most of the kids are his neighbors. Funny.

Happy Birthday Josie!

This is Josie at about 4 months. (Yes, you could put it in a ponytail on top of her head.)

Daddy asked her this morning if she would please turn 8 today instead of 10. She said that she would actually prefer to turn 10, but inquired of her father why he would want her to stay a baby. He told her he was afraid that maybe they didn't play enough or have enough fun yet. She said that she thought they had a lot of fun. So he's going to let her be 10 today.

Sing Along!

I Like this Quote

Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it. The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use.

~ Earl Nightingale

Say This Ten Times Fast

Obligate Siblicide. Obligate Siblicide. Obligate Siblicide.

Heard it on Jeff Corwin, and though the words struck me as funny, the act did not.

Fire!

Betcha didn't get a side patio performance like this at your Christmas party. Sorry my camera couldn't capture the whole spectacle, but the fire is the most important part anyway.




If you're a friend and you're wondering why you weren't invited, it was actually a party for hubby's aikido dojo.

A Meme for Me?

So Sam tagged me, and I must answer these questions. He says he's a bit tagophobic, well, I'm a bit meme-o-phobic. Let's see how I do.

1) Post a note about a blogger you would like to see something wonderful happen for. Maybe one whose posts have touched your heart in one way or another. Include details as to why you admire them and what you wish for them. Be as supporting and affirming as you can.
2) Post your favorite memory around selflessness, giving, or doing for others. Something that has actually changed you.
3) As a postscript, name one thing you will actually do for someone in your life before December 31 that is born out of joy.
4) Tag 3 other bloggers who will play the game and find the spirit. Don't forget to leave a comment on their blog so they continue to share the good feelings.



1) Well, I guess I'd like something wonderful to happen for Sam and his family. Maybe because his post did touch my heart, but more likely because he and his family would be the folks I would think of for this question anyway.
I admire Sam's honesty, even when he's saying something others may view as unpleasant. Recently Sam's penchant for honesty has sparked some very enlightening conversations in my household.
I admire "Momma's" grace. She is above all things petty. I strive to be like that. She has also shown me that strength and vulnerability can co-exist, that darkness and laughter can be friends, that you can spend your evening kicking girl's asses on the roller derby rink, then come home and bake a honey cake for your kid.

I admire their kids first because they like my kids, secondly because they are very human. There's not a malicious bone in "Big Brother's" body. That is a rarity among children. I see him as a little genius, but I can tell his parents never have told him that because he's very humble and uncomplicated.

What do I wish for them? I wish for them to have the mental and emotional clarity they will need to face the things life throws at them. I also really wish they would win the lottery and "Momma" would use the money to open a sushi restaurant nearer to my house, and Sam could start a charter school stocked with books, pillows, and kids reading at lunchtime. I'd send my daughter there for sure.

2) My favorite memory of selflessness? I had a friend that I worked with while I was in college, his good character was only equaled by his fine set of teeth. Someone told me that he would put quarters in expired parking meters to save some citizen a parking fine. He did it for others, because he would have liked others to do that for him. The golden rule in action. He's a dentist now. I bet he's a good one with plenty of Novocaine. I won't go to him now though. I don't want anyone I actually like digging around in my neglected teeth. How embarrassing. But if you're from around here, I bet he'd do a great job of digging around in your neglected teeth.

3) What would I do for someone before Dec. 31st that is born out of joy? Maybe I'll drag my kids by the legs of their pants all over the hardwood floor, just to watch them squeal. This is purely selfless I'll add, because I will have to clean a good bit of dog hair off the backs of their shirts when this little adventure is over. Maybe if I drag them around long enough, the floor will actually get clean, then it will only be halfway selfless, but that's good enough for me.

4) I only have one blogger to tag and she's a fine old friend of mine. Merry Christmas MyGirlsMom2. You've been tagged.

Fa Ra Ra Ra Ra.....

A conversation at lunch today:

"So Jake, what are you going to ask Santa for this year."

He licks his lips hopefully. Takes a deep breath and says "I want Dragonball Z Ultimate Battle 22 for Gameboy Advanced SP! "

What's my response?

"You'll shoot yer eye out kid!"



Here's a little Christmas Story clip for parents of kids on The Spectrum. No that's not my kid in the aviator glasses. She wouldn't be caught dead in a get up like that. She wears the red bellied woodpecker costume when she's waiting in line for Santa Claus.



Wizard of Oz is so passe in the Aspie community. This is what you're likely to hear from mine while she stands too close and stares too hard:

"I found a turtle. It was a Peninsula Cooter. They're rare. Turtles are my favorite."

Hi, my name is Michele....

and I'm a blog addict.

My 12 Steps

1. First, admit I have a problem. My dog is whining, my kids are fighting, and the laundry is getting sour, and I don't know what time it is (or day for that matter) but I can tell you the results of Mike Huckabee's last colonoscopy, and how many speeches Fred Thompson has given since declaring his candidacy (14). That's not good, especially compared to Romney's 78, who had a religious colonoscopy live on the air last week. And how I think it's creepy that Ron Paul is the new Ross Perot. RP. I wonder what their middle names are. Irwin? Ivan? Why do I care? Cause I'm a blog addict. I just admitted it. Step one, folks. Keep up.

2. Find a method to control the problem. Today I closed the computer up in the armoire. Then Josie wanted to play a game. So I opened it up. I knew she would be on it for a while, so I made sure to check my email before she started just in case Jesus came down from the heavens and the only way he could contact me was through Mozilla Thunderbird. I noticed there was a message from somebody from one of my old yahoo groups, who was not actually Jesus, but who got me thinking anyway. Not about my salvation but about yahoo groups in general. I set out looking for one for homeschooling mothers with daughters with aspergers who have brother's with bizarre habits and like to make up crap. I found it. Shadowkids. It's a group for parents of kids with syndromes that are as of yet unnamed, are mild, and look like other things. You know like Funkychickenosis, Dorkilococcus Borius, and my favorite Spastic Hypertyrantism (usually first appears at the age of 2. There's no cure until they get their first apartment.)

3. Next get my ass away from the bedroom, where lurks said computer, like a pusher and a drug all at the same time. I decided my new center of operation should be the kitchen. I got it very clean and mopped the floor. I thought about things I could cook and wondered if there were any good recipes on the web I hadn't checked out. Fortunately my kids were on the computer at the time, and the urge passed before I forcibly removed them from the chair, claiming that screens melt your brain. My kids are very lucky that I really don't like to follow recipes.

4. Play guitar. Of course this could be a problem, since it is another thing I do obsessively, and I like to surf for tabs online.

5. Draw. Could be a problem too, for the same reason of obsession as stated above. I look for material from which to draw on Google image searches.

6. Delete all my favorite blogs from the drop down menu. After I've booted the kids off RollerCoaster Tycoon and checked these blogs of course. But now it's like my favorite blogs are on a high shelf, and I have to stand on a chair in order to reach them. Typing is such a bitch, you know. And if I have to type in the name of the blog, then that's total premeditation.

7. Blissfully ignore the fact that I have a blogroll over there. That makes my favorite blogs pretty easy to access, but it would hurt the blogs' feelings if I deleted them. Add to that the fact that when the bloggers I visit online check their traffic tomorrow, they will find their visits from Knoxville have gone down significantly. Losing my traffic alone could drop them down a tier. I shouldn't say that.

8. Ask for forgiveness. For dropping you guys from my drop-down menu.

9. Realize nobody really gives a crap.

10. Breathe deep. Sit up straight in a proud Posture of Self-Reliance. It's good that no one gives a crap. They won't miss me. I am free.

11. Breathe out slowly, and gradually fall into the Slouch of Despondency, because no one gives a crap, and they won't miss me. I am inconsequential.

12. Replace my blog addiction with Crystal Lite and Vodka.

13. Big problem. There are 13 steps in my 12 step program. I must check in daily to see if anyone has sent me comments of support, or mixed drink recipes, or invited me to a yahoo group, or has any advice on breaking the habit, or wants to tell me that they give a crap, or to discuss Mike Huckabee's acid reflux.....

(Hey. I was just kidding about the Crystal Lite and vodka thing. I think Crystal Lite is terrible.)

Taking the Kids Here

One of the joys of homeschooling is that I can probably take the kids to see this on a weekday. Maybe we can meet Grandpa there.

Autism and Fever

And I'm not really ashamed that I used to like it when my daughter was sick. Now, she communicates in a much more back and forth way than she used to, but when she was under 6, people would have to listen to her make statements and try to reply with her talking over them about any subject she chose. Once, when she had pneumonia (at 5), she became a different kid. She would say things that made sense in the context of the situation. I could sit next to her and chat about what was on TV.

When I had her evaluated for Asperger's when she was 7, the psychologist asked me if my child seemed to communicate better when she had a fever. BING! YES! Can we give her a fever?!!! This fever/communication connection has been anecdotal in the autism community for a while, but now there's been a study done.

Bring on the Cytokines!

Addam's Family Homeschool

Can we come?

The first Addam's Family Episode. From 6 minutes in are all the reasons I homeschool, down to the box of spiders, unfortunately ours aren't thoroughbred.

I know it sounds crazy, but my gorgeous happy little sprite of a daughter would just adore the Addam's family house-- the ravens, the two-headed tortoise, Pugsly's octopus, the snake candles....

And if Jake had an uncle Fester who could power a lightbulb by sticking it in his mouth, my son would never leave his side.

Best Tom and Jerry

I know, I haven't been blogging much about homeschooling lately. It's more of a technical problem. There are times in the day when I have a bunch to say, but my kid is usually on the computer then, and our wireless router is broken, so I can't use the downstairs computer to say it. I also often blog downstairs when I'm doing laundry. If I sit next to the machines, I don't forget that I have laundry in there.

So lately I have sour laundry, and sparse blog posting.

So here's a funny Youtube to fill space.

It's a re-hash episode, where Butch and the gang go over to Tom's house to watch home movies of all the rotten things Tom has done to Spike. I like it for the last 40 seconds. So if you'd like to watch it all, go for it. But if you just want to see the part that makes me laugh my ass off then just let it load up and start watching it 6 minutes in. Is it just me, or is that one of the funniest scenes in a cartoon ever?

Bow wow!...Bow wow wow....bow...wow?

Best Freekin' Ukulele I've Ever Heard

I kind of want one now.

Best Christmas Programs

Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas. I watch it and my family laughs at me because I cry my eyes out. All it takes is a muppet and a song, and mom's a Christmas mess.




This one gets stuck in my head.



What's your favorite Christmas program?

Cool and Strange

I'm reading a book called A Fractured Mind. It's an autobiography by a man named Robert B. Oxnam, but it's narrated by the voices of his 11 personalities. I'm not sure I liked to book so much, but I was curious about whether there was some video I could find of one of his personalities.

He led the Asia Society for a decade and mingled in the circles of George H. W. Bush, Warren Buffet, and Bill Gates, just to name a few. He kept his multiple personalities a secret for many years. One of them that had been hidden away for most of his life was "Bobby". Bobby is the manifestation of Oxnam's creative drive. When they "let him out" he took up inline skating. They called him Bottle Man or Bottle Boy.

I guess this is Bobby.

Lagrima

It's not my best, but it's the best I can manage with the camera in my face, so I'll call it good enough. I like the name "Lagrima" it's a prelude to a longer piece I've never heard. Lagrima means "tears".

This is a pretty cheap camera, so the sound quality isn't great. I've downloaded something called Audacity that's supposed to prettify it a bit, but I'm not quite sure how to use it.

The Hemi Sync Experience

The kids' school table sits between two speakers. Hemi sync is designed to be listened to in stereo, so the table is perfectly located. I put in the CD that is supposed to help with focus and concentration while the kids did some math and handwriting. It took them just as long to do their work as it usually does. Josie also thought the music was distracting and put on the ear protection. I left the room to check my email, and came back to find Jake looking down at his math.

"Mama? You know what's the saddest thing in the whole world? Losing those that you love." Then he started doing that thing where your chin quivers and you're trying not to cry. "I miss Max and Petey."

"Me too." I said. "I guess you're kind of having a delayed reaction, aren't you."

"Yeah. That music makes me sad."

"Well, I'll go turn it off."

When I went down to turn it off, I looked at the title of the CD. Of course I had forgotten, but it's title is Remembrance. I wonder.

Josie's Lego Fantasy

When I was a nine year old girl, my creative pursuits involved drawing pictures of unicorns, learning all the words to the songs on "Flashdance", and taking photos of my friends pretending to be models. Here is my daughter's idea of creative fun. I should have played with Legos more as a child, but none of the figures had realistic hair for me to braid.

Josie's story begins with a souvenir shop. All manner of helmets, swords, and armor are sold there. The shop is the first place you come to when you walk into our scene.

Notice the "parking lot" where the people have left their horses to graze while they wait in line behind the chain for the show.

Many years ago, the king captured a dragon who was burning down the forest. He tamed her and named her Sophie. He entertains his people by putting on plays with the dragon. The king hires live actors and undead actors to perform.

Notice that Sophie has captured an evil skeleton in her powerful jaws.

Here is the whole scene from above.

Happy Thanksgiving

This is the best part of Thanksgiving to me.



I reminded my children to pray for the kids in our area who for whatever reason, and through no fault of their own, will get no jelly beans with their toast, pretzels, and popcorn.

Here Fishy Wishy

Josie had some fun with our new Flip Ultra camcorder.

Ordered Hemi Sync

Okay, y'all. I ordered the Hemi Sync set today. It's a three CD set. Sleeping Through the Rain (for sleep, duh), Masterworks (for focus and concentration), Remembrance (for relaxation).

The Hemi Sync information that got my attention at first was the group studies done at the Monroe Institute on the effects of auditory signals on altered consciousness. Unfortunately those CDs don't seem as readily available, although my yoga friend might have one. You must be pretty relaxed to do those auditory experiments. I don't know deep breathing, or focused meditation. I do know heavy drinking though.

Maybe after a few glasses of Ravenswood I would be able to achieve an altered state of consciousness. I just might not be aware of it. That could be a problem. I could probably do that without the CD's.

For my ADHD friends: this particular set of CDs is geared towards people on the autistic spectrum and those with ADHD.

(Ravenswood is geared towards alcoholics.)

Pure Puppy Nirvana

If this face doesn't put a lump in your throat, then you simply have no heart.

Someone on one of my Yahoo groups is giving away puppies. They are golden retriever/Australian shepherd mixes. This one is the most beautiful to me. I can feel myself touching noses with her and staring into those beautiful cornflower blue eyes. She would make that little chuffing noise that baby doggies make and then I would smell that distinctive puppy breath. At that point I would turn into a crazy drooling idiot.

MUST. SMASH. PUPPY!
(smashing is a good thing in my home)

Hemi Sync and Autism

This technology has been used with kids with developmental disorders. I am definitely using it.

Here's the research so far.

Here is a place where the CD's can be purchased.

Hemi Sync

I saw a program about near death experiences, and they discussed Hemi Sync. It's a system developed by the Monroe Institute using sound waves to wake up areas of the brain that we wouldn't normally tap into. Some people use it as a form of self-hypnosis to help them with pain, addiction etc. I want to try it out for kicks. I think it is possible for me to download it. Once I start using it, I will put it into my schedule and tell you how it affected me.

Anxiety and Asperger's

From the website of Nelle Francis. She's from Australia. I include this here because as I read things that enlighten me, I hope others will be informed too.

One interesting thing this Nelle Frances points out is that anxiety in AS people is cyclic. You could go months with only minor upsets and feel like things are getting better and then boom, here come the meltdowns etc. again. She also states that anxiety problems seem to be affected by the lunar cycle. Days of the full moon are troublesome for AS kids. We'll be celebrating Thanksgiving on a big moon day.

Did I tell you that holidays can be a problem too?

Asperger’s Syndrome and Anxiety

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are known to be more naturally ‘anxious’ than their non- ASD peers. The challenges presented by the 5 characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome (social impairment, communication impairment, sensory sensitivity, repetitive behaviours and difficulty with change) potentially make their world a confusing and frightening reality. Add anxiety to the mix and you may have a child who is anxious and worried 100% of the time. Anxiety and stress over sustained periods of time is shown to lead to exhaustion, the development of allergies and illness.

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome demonstrate their anxiety through a variety/combination of behaviours:-

• Physical symptoms (stomach pains; headache; racing heart; sweaty palms; constricted chest; tight muscles; insomnia)
• Avoidance desire
• Inattention and
• Irritability

Anxiety in children with Asperger’s Syndrome can be triggered unconsciously; when this is coupled with their inability to verbalise effectively it compounds the effects of anxiety – the Asperger child can be extremely anxious, and unable to tell you why (they may not know themselves). They may be able to tell you they have a stomach ache, or don’t wish to go to Joey ’s birthday party, but not know why.

Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are known to have ‘perfectionist’ attitudes towards many areas of their lives, and this can be witnessed through their ‘obsessive/compulsive’ behaviours, their repetitive patterns of behaviour and their difficulty coping with change. This self-imposed ‘perfectionist’ attitude can contribute to their anxiety and ‘pressure to perform’. In other words, children with Asperger’s Syndrome usually place extreme/unrealistic demands on themselves. It’s important to remember this when dealing with an anxious ASD child.

Some useful techniques for supporting an anxious Asperger Syndrome child include:

• Redirection/distraction
• Physical energy ‘burn’ (physical activity such as running, bike riding, jumping on a trampoline, swimming etc)
• ‘Whole-body’ activities (tug-of-war; monkey-bar; rolling on floor/ground)
• Body brushing/massage
• Deep pressure activity (lying under a heavy blanket/cushions/mattress)
• Chewing/sucking (relieves pressure in the jaw)
• Listening (hearing what the Asperger child can tell you)

Anxiety levels in children with Asperger’s Syndrome are ‘cyclic’ in nature, making it more difficult for parents/teachers/carers to identify anxiety triggers. Cycles vary from 4-6 weeks (often linking with lunar cycles). What causes the ASD child mild anxiety one week, may cause extreme anxiety ( and/or avoidance desire) the next.

When our Asperger son was 9 he progressed from a child who was slightly more anxious than his peers, to a child who was extremely anxious, paranoid and agitated in the space of 6 months. Various methods of dealing with anxiety were introduced by the many therapists/professionals treating our son, much of them with conflicting advice. All of them failed to acknowledge the physical symptoms our Asperger son experienced, tending to present the attitude that the anxiety was “self-imposed”, and “if he’s not going to speak about what’s causing the anxiety, then we can’t help him dispel the physical symptoms of that anxiety”.

Our son with Asperger’s Syndrome is now nearly 16, and in the last year has begun to verbalise much more about his experience of that time. He tells us he was very frightened by his physical symptoms, and most of the time he didn’t know what it was about a situation or event that was causing him anxiety, he just knew that the thought of participating sent him into panic. The ‘fight or flight’ response occured almost immediately (before he’d had a chance to process the feeling of panic) and he felt he had no control over his world.

He also says we should’ve listened to him more. For example, if he said didn’t want to go to Joey ’s birthday party, we should’ve understood that he:-

a) knew birthday parties were fun
b) liked eating party food
c) liked singing Happy Birthday
d) knew all the other kids were going
e) wanted to be like all the other kids

We should’ve understood that if there was any way he could’ve coped with the party, he would go. At that point he’d already tried 100 things in his head to talk himself into going. In saying he didn’t want to go, his real message to us was “I can’t cope with that today”.

As you support your child with Asperger’s Syndrome to cope with their anxiety be mindful of ‘hearing’ them – not all avoidance desire is ‘manipulative’ behaviour.

Yes, children with Asperger’s Syndrome can be manipulative, but their desire to not be ‘different’ together with their ‘perfectionist’ attitudes is a strong, internal force that drives them to be all they can be.

A Pretty Place In Tennessee

Let me take you on a little trip...

Up a little creek....

...by a little grist mill, where a little girl sits drawing....

.......

....down towards big Norris Lake...

where it's so dried up, you can walk on it without muddying your shoes.

Now look out into that beautiful field with the pleasant trees posing for the camera

...and the others who are naked and shy...

and back around to the little grist mill,

where the little girl finishes her little drawing.

My Name is Michele, and I Drive A Minivan

I just needed a little pep talk, and Peyton Manning helped my come to terms with my problems. Maybe he can help you too.

If your name is Monica or Barbara he may not be able to call you by name, but he can call you Lady, and that's nice too I guess, sure beats Sugar Britches.

Caleb Meyer

Lord of the Flies

The neighbors have their 7 grandkids, all under 10 years, out on the back porch right now, dressed in their Sunday best, riding tricycles, and jumping around with sticks. And screaming. It sounds like some kind of mass infanticide going on out there. I ran outside to see what was going on. I believe demons are trying to escape their little bodies through their lungs. My dog is freaking out a bit too. This must be what it sounds like when kids actually play outside.

Oh Bwoonhilda, You're So Wuvwee...

Yes, I know it. I can't help it.

(This is one of my very favwits! I even cwied on the part where the bunny wabbit dies beneath the weeping wose.)



Bugs Bunny is a very special classification of rabbit (Oryctolagus cuniculus transvetitus), rarely seen these days. In the past they could often be spotted on Saturday mornings, as children sat in front of glowing television sets with actual dials on them, getting exposed in an entertaining and amusing way to opera and classical music.

A....C.....uh.....Phlegm......

This is probably old, but it's new to me. Hilarious.

Hey! Maybe I Can Teach it Then.

Unfortunately, my blog is not Genius level, must have been all the moronic posts about my weird dreams.

He Should Fit Right In.

This here is Ragweed. He's a golden tan, so he matches my decor like my other pets. As well as being a pet, he is a scientific experiment involving nutrition, behavior, and cognitive function. He also likes spinning things and banging into walls.

Common Ancestor

Is there anyone out there who thinks the whole different breeds/one common ancestor thing is unbelievable? Is there any other animal we have bred over the years that has such dramatic variety? These are the Guinness book record holders.

Robotic Helper And A Bunch of Rambling Stuff About Asperger's

While I was reading this article, I was thinking how good this robot would be for helping autistic children learn to interact, then the idea was proposed at the end. Apparently, that's what this technology is most likely to be used for.



It would be very nice to be able to use a robot to teach your child how to interact outside of a social setting. When Josie was younger and having a lot more trouble with aggression and empathy, I sure hated the idea of using other people's children to teach her how to interact. The only problem with the robot is that it has no facial expressions. That would make him extra scary to me, but probably more helpful to the autistic community.

Josie has come a long way in this area, especially towards younger children. She has a good instinct about them, and takes very good care and is protective of little ones. They like her too. She doesn't talk down to them. She tried to teach a three year old how to play chess the other night. She didn't expect Lola to know how to play, and just rolled with whatever Lola wanted to do.

Older kids are harder to read. They may be smiling at you when they are bullying you and she thinks they are being nice. Or they won't tell you when they are angry. She can't read that either. Toddlers cry when they are sad, laugh when they are happy, throw a tantrum when they are angry. Josie gets that and has a great amount of confidence with babies and small kids.

Older kids often can't pick out what is not normal about Josie. She works very hard to entertain others, and usually just comes off as a very silly girl. But they do think there's something a bit "off" there. Little ones just take her as she is. Many homeschooled kids are better at taking her at face value too. But as she gets older, that kind of acceptance by her peers happens less and less.

It's appropriate that this robot is a toddler, how do you program a robot to be sarcastic? How do you program a robot to lie to your face? What does a lying face look like? How do we know when someone is doing that?

I'm a neurotypical person, but I can't readily explain how I know the hidden language. It comes naturally to me. That's what makes me neurotypical. Teaching this hidden social curriculum the difficulty in raising a child with Asperger's syndrome. It's like teaching someone how to build a strong house with popsicle sticks and paperclips. You need to become a totally new kind of draftsman to find out how to make it happen with what you've been given.

I wonder how many neurotypical people who understand the hidden language are out there programming robots? These engineering fields seem to be highly populated with aspies. But perhaps it takes a more scientific knowledge of human behavior to program a robot to emulate a human personality, precisely the kind of textbook style knowledge people with asperger's syndrome need to use daily in dealing with social situations.

Mighty Mice

Monday morning, my daughter and her friend are going out to buy two mice in order to run an experiment studying the effects of nutrition on concentration and behavior. I'll blog it as interesting things will surely develop. They will be entering their experiment in the local homeschooler's science fair.

They have already picked out their names: Poppy, and Lucky Sue. She's lucky because she's a feeder mouse who has been saved from being a snake's lunch.

Here's an interesting little article I read today about super mice. Oh no, they're not interested in using this technology in humans;) I imagine the military will get their hands on this one. Perhaps even the NFL.

Cockaboody!

Moonbird

I remember this cartoon from when I was little. It sounds as if someone just recorded children playing, then animated it. Been searching for it for a while. I've been Googling among other things "that ain't bait that's candy". I found it.

Smoking a Bit of the Pol Pot in Delaware

Apparently at the University of Delaware, you get shot in the back for stealing a handful of rice.
Well, not really, but it sounds so Khmer Rouge.

Some excerpts:

With no guile at all the university has laid out a brutally specific program for "treatment" of incorrect attitudes of the 7,000 students in its residence halls.

The training makes clear that white people are to be considered racists - at least those who have not yet undergone training and confessed their racism. The RAs have been taught that a "racist is one who is both privileged and socialized on the basis of race by a white supremacist (racist) system. The term applies to all white people (i.e., people of European descent) living in the United States, regardless of class, gender, religion, culture, or sexuality."

Students are required to attend training sessions, floor meetings and one-on-one sessions where RAs ask personal questions such as "When did you discover your sexual identity?". Students are pressured or required to accept an array of the university's approved views. In one training session, students had to announce their opinions on gay marriage. Those who did not approve of gay marriage were isolated and heavily pressured to change their opinion.

In this curricular approach, students are required to report their thoughts and opinions. One professor says: "You have to confess what you believe to the RA." The RAs write reports to their superiors on student progress in cooperating with the "treatment."

You can read the whole thing here.

Via a link from Instapundit.

To Will Smith...

Dear Will,

First of all, let me say that I thought we had a good time. I especially enjoyed our conversation about the 70's R&B sound and how it should come back. I know I probably shouldn't have said what I said about rap. I was what propelled you to fame after all. But you were never gangsta, so I figured you knew what I meant.

I never expected things to end up in the bedroom. I do believe it was me who was showing you the door, when suddenly a good night kiss turned into something else.

But when my entire family came home and decided to walk through the room one by one, how can you blame me for that? They weren't even my family, just supporting actors. I did feel like I needed to go to the living room and let them know to mind their own business.

Then you came out and stood in the kitchen with your back turned to us and those ear muffs on and you were all of the sudden weary and dismissive. You turned to me with that endearing Will Smith smile and cut me to the bone. That thing you said about me being a flatterer, and about the hibachi you made and how nobody loves every single bite. First of all, I'm not a flatterer, and I think fame is sort of a mass hysterical people worship. Second of all, I don't really like hibachi all that much. Thirdly, you didn't even make me hibachi! What the hell are you talking about?

Things just got strange when you left. Standing there in the living room with Mimi Rogers, Peter McNichol, and Steve my old college roommate looking at the door, then looking at me. Then Oliver from the Brady Bunch reminded me that you still had my hearing protection on. I'll need those for Ladies Night at Coal Creek next Tuesday.

Anyway, I'm sorry it all ended up the way it did, but c'est la vie, I guess. Oh, and I'm married. You are too.

Best Regards,

Michele

P. S. I would like to know the name of that musician you were talking about earlier in the evening. I wrote it down, but somewhere between then and waking up I lost the piece of paper. So if you could do me the kindness of letting me know tonight, that would be great. It would save me a whole day of surfing Itunes. If you're still throwing a tantrum, well nevermind.

Happy Halloween!

This is an old one of my hubby on his favorite day of the year. Check out the phone. I'm sure he's calling in dead to work.


Josie made these little guys. I think they're telling people stories around the campfire. Gather 'round kiddies and I'll tell you some stories about the mysterious third dimension.

This is not kid safe, so shoo them out of the room and prepare to laugh so uncontrollably you are rendered incapable of speech, or possibly even bladder control. Check out The 30 Most Unsettling German Halloween Costumes over at Cracked Magazine.


(It wasn't obvious to me how to go to the next page on that site. There is a series of little grey buttons at the bottom of the post. One of them is a next arrow.)

Bad Bad Putty Tat!

Indoctrinate U

After the lengthy excerpt below (which you're allowed to skip, I'm not watching) is a deleted scene from Evan Coyne Maloney's Indoctrinate U which covers free speech issues on college campuses. I saw a good deal of this film while it was still called Brainwashing 101, and it was on his website. The film is provocative, but the delivery of the message is lighthearted. He's a fair and polite libertarian guy, and I appreciate the way he interviews people and approaches the issue of diversity of thought on college campuses.

Here's an example of that fairness in his discussion of "groupthink" with Newsbusters. (Boldface mine.)

NewsBusters: Yeah, I think that's right. As far as some of these problems go, in the film you talk about that you think that if conservatives had control of academia that we would see similar instances, almost as common of liberals being, having their speech trampled on. Expand on that.

MALONEY: Yeah I think that's probably true, I mean I don't have any way of testing the theory but my theory is basically this: that it's not necessarily just ideology that causes people to do some of the things that the campus left is doing to suppress dissent today. I think that part of the problem, unfortunately is a natural human tendency towards group-think. We've seen plenty of examples throughout history of group-think and I think we've seen enough examples that you can't say that group-think is limited to one point in the ideological spectrum.

So I think yeah, I don't know what the exact numbers would have to be for the same problem to exist in reverse, but I'm sure that if there were the number of conservatives on campus equal to the amount of liberals that there are today-so in other words, if the roles were exactly mirror of what they are now-if conservatives were in the vast majority, I don't have particularly good faith that things would be much better. I think the problem is group-think that the size of the group, as it becomes more and more ideologically uniform, I think that's what ultimately results in the problem.

So yeah, I think that's why it's important to respect free speech in the abstract because, just because you might be calling the shots on campus today doesn't mean that you will be tomorrow. And if you create an environment that doesn't respect speech, well it's not going to be very good for you if that environment exists when other people are running the campus. So I think it's important purely for selfish reasons to support free speech and free thought on campus in the abstract and not have it be an ideological battle. There is nothing inherently ideological about free thought. Everybody should be actively engaged in it.

I remember back when in the Brainwashing 101 days he did a good bit of filming at the University of Tennessee. I would really like to see this documentary come to Knoxville. In order to get a screening he has to get enough signatures from your city. The Sikh student in the trailer below, Sukhmani Singh Khalsa, (in the turban obviously) is from UT.

Dora

I wonder if Mad TV has done a spoof on Dora the Explorer. I mean what kind of idiot can't solve her dilemmas. I can like solve them so freakin' fast. Jake said it right. "Dora's for idiots." And she's so freakin' loud and demanding. "Say Backpack! Say Backpack!" Well what are you going to do about it if I don't?! I want to just kick her butt. And I don't even need a map!

Alec Baldwin agrees with me.

Meow. Meow. Meow.

My kitty is spoiled. He meows a lot. His bowl never empty. Most of the time he just wants us to get up and walk down to the bottom floor and show him to his bowl. "Here my precious and most Honorable High Puttie Tat, here's your food, see?" Then he eats it while laying down. I'll have to get a picture of it.

Remember this Little Guy?

What's worse than going into your daughter's room and finding a diving beetle? Cleaning up your daughter's room and finding the jar with his badly decomposed carcass floating around. You know that little dance you do when something icky crawls over your foot in the middle of the night. My dance comes with a noise too. I'm doing all of that.

Peaceful Protest III

Of course these anti-globalization thugs have never been very peaceful, or rational. So they've hurled a brick at an Abercrombie and Fitch salesgirl. Now, I've certainly met a few smart ass little sales girls that I've wanted to thwack with a blunt object, but I don't think it would solve the world's inequalities, and I'm a nice person.








You know it could be a disgruntled customer hiding amongst the protesters. She probably got that look from the sales girl. You know the one that says "Yeah, those jeans would look nice if they weren't cutting your fat ass in half. Maybe they have something for you at Kmart." Now that's worth hurling a brick over.

Yes, I do fantasize a fair bit.

From Instapundit again.

Maybe the Little Captain Isn't So Absurd

We're watching "Say Anything". John Cusack and Ione Skye just broke up. She's crying in the car.
Jake says, "When I grow up, I'll never break up with anybody."

I said, "Well, you'll need to. Sometimes it hurts, but you have to look around before you find someone you want to stay with. I broke up with a few boys before I met your dad."

Then he looked across the table and said "They have to speak to your heart."

"Yes they do."

Spinning Lady

Okay, now that you're done looking at her nipples, check out which direction she is spinning. If she's going clockwise, you're a right brainer. If she's going counter-clockwise, you're a left brainer. For the life of me, I can't get her to go any way but clockwise. Hubby is convinced I'm insane and there's no way she can be going clockwise at all.

Here's the article. It tells me how I think. I don't see myself as having of right brain ways of thinking, since I see myself as a facts-oriented individual, but maybe I'm just too right brained to "get" the list. The part about knowing an object's function rather than its name does apply to me though, and I do fantasize a good bit.

Got this from Ace.

Update: When I read the paragraph and look back up at her, she starts going in the other direction.

This Guy Must Know My Husband

Here's a quote from a blogger in Australia...

Am I the only person talking about the real issues in this election?

Nearly one whole week has passed and I have yet to hear a single candidate from any party say word one about the pressing, clawing, biting issue of the Undead.

The writer is John Birmingham. I wonder if Australia has a Zombie Squad?

Got this from Instapundit of course.

Here's a link to the whole article. You should really read it. If you know my man, then you'll get a real kick out of it. Can hubby be living a double life down under in some journalistic zombie hunting Australian militia? Anything is possible. But I think we should keep our Zom-boys closer to home.

I know the Instapundit link isn't working. Dunno why. Bush's fault I guess.

I Struck Internet Gold

with this website.

I accidentally happened upon it through a strange episode of serendipity. Among other things like art, people, and my kids, I love two things: watching "You Are What You Eat", and playing around with my guitar. I'm trying to eat healthier so I can have more energy to deal with just about everything, so I watch the TV program. The guitar part includes searching the web voraciously for guitar tablature, audio, and video. I have a very hard time finding tab on the web, especially with alternate tunings, so this takes up a good deal of time I could be using to actually play.

So today, I was watching "You Are What You Eat" on BBCAmerica, and thought I might look up Gillian Mckeith's recipe for seed loaf (It's like a meatloaf, but made from beans and seeds). I typed "gillian seed loaf what you eat" in my search engine. The first site that came up was Howard Wright's. He exposed this Gillian McKeith lady as a bit of a flim flam artist; who not actually a medical doctor, but uses the prefix Dr. before her name. So she was misleading me a bit. Well I do love the truth too. I never felt the need to send off my family's poo to Ms. McKeith to find out if we're going to have heart attacks in our sleep, but she does show me some interesting ways to prepare vegetables. So I'll still watch, but I'll be a bit more skeptical of her apocalyptic declarations.

Anyway, I noticed on the top line of this blog, there were links to a massive collection of his guitar tabs. Oh heavens! Some of these tabs are Joni Mitchell, and her alternate tunings. Then links to other great music sites. Unfortunately there were no recipes.

I'll be spending a lot of time there using it as a search engine, so I'll put his site up on the links in my sidebar. He has piano music on there too. Check it out. I know some of you will really like the music selection, because I actually know some of you. You know who you are.


OH. Maybe someone (Ron?)can answer a tab question for me, since I didn't see it on Howard's tab instructional. I'm learning a song right now and one measure confuses me. There a part where I'm supposed to pull off from the second fret to the open string. But I don't know how to play it just right because I haven't encountered this particular thing before. It shows me the 2, which I play, but between the 2 and the 0 there's a little 2 in parentheses. Like this 2 (2)-0.

Einstein Talking

This is so cute to me. My favorites are "Lookitchoo! You're all wet!" and "Shake shake shake, shake your booty." He would probably get annoying after a while, but apparently his owner is a real sweetie, because that's all you hear coming from him. Or I think it's a her.

Makes me wonder what my parrot would say if I had one.

Probably "Joe-See! Hey Jake! Hey Jake! Hey Jake! You know what? You know what? You know what? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! SORRY! SORRY! SORRY! GetcherbuttinhereNOW! I said I was SORRY! Hey Jake, hey Jake, hey Jake, you know what?!"

I'm not sure I want a parrot this verbal.

So, dear friends, what would your parrot say?

High Levels of Lead in Lipstick

Here's the article.

Excerpt:

ATLANTA (Reuters) - Lipsticks tested by a U.S. consumer rights group found that more than half contained lead and some popular brands including Cover Girl, L'Oreal and Christian Dior had more lead than others, the group said on Thursday. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics said tests on 33 brand-name red lipsticks by the Bodycote Testing Group in Santa Fe Spring, California, found that 61 percent had detectable lead levels of 0.03 to 0.65 parts per million (ppm).

Lipstick, like candy, is ingested. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, a coalition of public health, environmental and women's groups, said the FDA has not set a limit for lead in lipstick.

One-third of the lipsticks tested contained an amount of lead that exceeded the U.S. Food and Drug Administration's 0.1 ppm limit for lead in candy -- a standard established to protect children from ingesting lead, the group said. Thirty-nine percent of the lipsticks tested had no discernible lead, it said.

When I was pregnant with Josie, I worked selling cosmetics at a department store. Ultima II is a Revlon company, so I will check them out. There was also the Iman line, she had really pretty lipsticks. I don't know who owns that company. Color Me Beautiful was my line, I wore two colors Cinnamon and Terra Cotta by the Color Me Beautiful line just about every day, and if it came off, it was reapplied. I never wiped off my lipstick before I ate either. After working there for so many years, I just thought I looked sick without makeup. I wonder how much it costs to get a tube of lipstick tested for lead?

This is the bit of the article that really got my attention:

Lead can cause learning, language and behavioral problems such as reduced school performance and increased aggression. Pregnant women and young children are particularly vulnerable to lead exposure, the group said in its statement.

Well, that's pretty much what we're dealing with.

Update: It may all be a bunch of hooey.

Captain Absurd Questions The Physics of Peanut Butter

Mother, wouldn't it be cool if peanut butter could melt heat?

Captain Absurd, In Awe of Dust

Mother, did you know dust has parts of people in it?

Yes, dear son. I imagine dust has parts of most everything in it.

Even broccoli?

Yes, son. Even broccoli.

More Illustrations

First the froggy waits.

Then the froggy jumps!

Bye Bye Ponytail

I got a cut and a color. Big deal, you say. But I've looked like a ponytail soccer mom for far too long. I'm an arteest for crissakes! So I got this really edgy thing done- red on top, dark brown underneath, and choppy. When I got home, my husband told me that my hair looked Scully on top and Milla on bottom, then he acted like he needed to leave the room:) I guess that's a good thing.

I got the cut and color in exchange for a drawing I did a while back. I would never have spent the money I got for drawing a portrait on a hairstyle. It would have been frittered away on stupid stuff like batteries and barrettes. So it kind of paid for me to do the barter thing this time. I've had bad luck with bartering in the past, but this time it worked out.

Yes, I like my hair. That's what makes this post blogworthy. I mean how often do you hear any girl say she likes her hair?

On ChimpyMcHitlerBurton and His Ilk.

There's a new study out of Germany that says when chimps are given a choice, their decisions are rational, and driven by self-interest. That wouldn't have sent up such a red flag to me if there hadn't just been a similar published study on Liberals and Conservatives and how they make decisions. Even the term "homo-politicus" was used in the title of the article.

I'm waiting for the grand conclusions that will be drawn from this study. The one with the hypothesis that since conservatives are driven by self-interest then chimps are conservatives, and therefore George Bush is actually more or less a chimp.

You know there are folks already gathering their chimpanzee subjects and putting them in simulated voting booths.

That's funny to me.

Then on the other hand I seem to remember the Nazis were very fond of painting Jews as driven by greed and self-interest, and also had a strange fixation with the caricature of the Jew as a gorilla. It always troubles me how less rational elements of the left use that same Nazi propaganda tactic when protesting Bush, painting him up like a chimp.

History: lather, rinse, repeat.

Yes, I know Americans used similar propaganda, but today we look upon it with scorn, unless that is, the propaganda is used against someone like the President. We certainly wouldn't paint the terrorists who intentionally kill innocent people as raging gorillas. That would be intolerant.

Oh wait. I think the study says that chimps are more rational than humans. Makes sense. Never mind.

Ernesto Tamayo

For Wenso because she let me know he would be in town. Here's a YouTube. So fast! Does it sound La Cuckarachish to you? (There's no official spelling for that, so I did my darndest.)

Ouch.

Makes my stomach sink.

Dream On by Aerosmith on Classical Guitar

I don't know what the "crowd's" damn problem is. But he must be playing at a freekin' Wal Mart or something, because this loud ass lady won't stop chuckling with her girlfriend and that limp-wristed applause makes me think the audience not only didn't have a musical bone in their body, it's very possible they had no soul. But if you can cope with the morons, you're in for a treat. Played a bit imperfectly, but the listeners didn't deserve perfection anyway.




What a fitting title. If I ever tell you I can play like this guy, that will be your response. "Dream on, Chica."

My Fish Soup

With the kids out of town I was able to go to the grocery store and get everything I need. Usually I'm trying to get in and out as fast as I can because they distract me so badly that I get nervous that I will forget something. If I move quickly, I'm less likely to forget, right?

I also have had the opportunity to experiment with recipes this week since the picky ones are out of the picture.

Today I made some very healthy fish soup.

Here's the recipe. I don't measure. I also don't know a damn thing about fish. There's salmon, shellfish, then there's everything else. So I used tilapia, cause it was on sale.

Two filets tilapia
onion
zucchini
fennel bulb
vegetable broth (I used chicken, because that's what I had)
dry white wine (mine wasn't quite dry enough, so I drank it, then my glass was dry and I was sad. I did put some in the soup.)
garlic
thyme
tomatoes (we don't do tomatoes in my house because hubby is instituting an anti-tomato pogrom, which coincides with zombie preparedness and religion somehow, so I used prego tomato sauce which doesn't count because the tomatoes have already been brutally pulverized, and this pleases hubby greatly.)

Slice the fennel bulb lengthwise thinly. Chop the onion and zucchini. Put it in the saucepan with vegetable stock, garlic white wine. Bring to boil. Reduce to med and simmer for 10 minutes.

Add the fish and tomatoes (or sauce) and thyme. Then cook for 5 minutes.

All done.

I ate it and thought it needed a little lemon herb seasoning. Then I got really adventurous and added some Jim n' Nicks habanero sauce.

It was good. I'm sweating.

An Illustration

Here's an example of one of my unfinished illustrations that will be in an as-yet-unpublished yoga book for children.

(I hope someone from a big time publishing company is reading this blog.)

Whatnot

A very strange word.

Strange words are often more strange when said multiple times in quick succession.

Whatnot
Whatnot
Whatnot
Whatnot
Whatnot

We don't say it on it's own. Often it is said at the end of a sentence as a sort of et cetera. Like your sentence is pretty much done, but there are still a lot of little things laying around that the sentence needs to pick up before it's clean, and it just uses "whatnot" to accomplish the task. A little sentence cleaner upper.

Maybe it's more like a sentence junk drawer because it is a combination of the words "what" and "not". Which is strange, because those two words together imply that the sentence you are finishing is "not" exactly "what" it seems to be.


Here's the definition:

what·not /ˈʰwʌtˌnɒt, ˈʰwɒt-, ˈwʌt-, ˈwɒt-/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[hwuht-not, hwot-, wuht-, wot-] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation

–noun

1.	a stand with shelves for bric-a-brac, books, etc.

2.	something or anything of the same or similar kind: sheets, pillowcases, towels, napkins, and whatnot.

---

[Origin: 1530–40; from the phrase what not?]



Still makes no sense to me. Notice how it states that the word refers to "anything of the same or similar kind..." From the sound of it, it should refer to anything of a different kind, what with the not and all.


Which just adds more evidence to my notion that people of the 16th century just didn't have a clue. It may have been because they were often seen standing and pretending to read books with podiums coming out of their shoulders and funny hats with halos and whatnot.

I know. I should be sleeping, but I prefer thinking about nonsense. Sleeping just puts me to sleep.

Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key (So Why is There a Lump in My Throat?)

I just read Joey Pigza Swallowed the Key. It's about a boy with ADHD and a less than ideal start family-wise. I'll give it five stars, but you have to be geared up for it if your kid has "something" or you have "something". I don't know if the author intended for this to happen, but I cried through the whole damn book.

Study: HypoThyroidism Linked to Obsessive Blog Posting and Excessive Donut Consumption

In a double blind study conducted over two days of one female subject aged 34 who forgot to take her 150 mg of Armour Thyroid.

Six chocolate donuts, one gigantic chocolate chunk cookie from the cafe Barnes and Noble, 3 pancakes with peanut butter and syrup. Three beers (one with a chocolate donut perched momentarily on the rim for humorous effect on hubby.) 4 Blog Posts. One illustration. Three loads of laundry on the pool table.

Now get me my medicine.

(Maybe a Motrin too. )

Wisdom (Or Why I Can't Make it Through a Yoga Class Without Laughing Dandelion Tea Out My Nose)

The other night when I was up way too late for my own good and my husband was snoring away next to me, I got to chuckling. I had a funny thought that stemmed from a conversation I had with a yoga instructor friend of mine. She was telling me about energy lines in our bodies, and why we sit with our index finger to our thumb when we meditate. She told me that once upon a time, gurus would spend as much as 20 years isolated in caves for the purpose of studying these lines. One guru may spend years only focused on the index finger, or the middle finger. She told me the middle finger was the finger of wisdom. I just can't shake this picture in my mind of a naked, wizened and worn old guru staggering out of a cave with his middle finger fully extended and exclaiming to the crowd "I got your wisdom right here! Now get me a big bean burrito!"

But the whole middle finger/wisdom thing makes sense. Often this finger has been used on me, and the dose of wisdom was instant.

Ajeet, forgiveness is divine, but I think an immature sense of humor is diviner. Yes?

Hey, put that finger back.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Today is a celebration of all the people whose birthdays I have forgotten or haven't properly acknowledged this September. I'm not so good at birthdays. Usually it's because I want to do something so great for you, because you're so great, and I look around for the best present for days, then I stress out because I haven't found anything. Then your birthday passes and I feel too guilty to call. Then I send you something as quick as I can. (Yes Monica, this bit is about you:)).

But I can't neglect to remember the birthday I remembered not to forget, which is the birthday of one of my most favorite-ist people in the whole world. I remembered her birthday today. And her birthday is actually tomorrow! So pat me on the back.

September is a big birthday month on my calendar.... So put a floppy red bow in your hair and twirl around in that pouffy blue sateen dress, and sing along!

(Yes, you too,Sam.)



Happy birthday
happy birthday -
Happy birthday
happy birthday -
Happy birthday
happy birthday.

Happy
happy birthday in a hot bath
To those nice
nice nights.
I remember always
always I got such a fright.
Seeing them in my dark cupboard with my great big cake.
If they were me
if they were me
And I was you and I was you -
If they were me and I was you
Would you have liked a present too.

Happy
happy birthday in a hot bath . . .

Happy birthday
happy birthday - . . .