Fire! Fire! Fire!

This is the way we burn the grass.

Burn the grass.

Burn the grass.
This is the way we burn the grass,
So er-ligh in the mornin'.

Mike Gravel?

Never heard of him. But he's for the Fair Tax.

P.S. I've been way too incendiary today. I hope I don't have to pay for it tomorrow.

Peaceful Protest 2

All the way back on March 4, but this stuff doesn't make the news, so people have to go looking for it. Apparently I didn't get the memo, but the road to peace is paved with stones thrown at conservatives. Exclusive: Karl Rove Heckled And Pelted With Rocks
(03/04/07) WASHINGTON - White House aide Karl Rove came face to face with angry protesters after speaking to the Young Republican Club at American University Tuesday night, with about 20 students lying down in front of his car.

Student Josh Goodman told The Washington Post other students kicked Rove's car, "and tried to stop it as best they could."

Goodman, an AU junior, said he and others wanted to make a "citizens arrest" of the presidential adviser.

This is exclusive eyewitness video of the incident. This low-res video was captured on a cell phone.

Peaceful Protest

There are ways to disagree. This ain't one of them.

Thought You Might Like to Know part 2....

I firmly believe if John Denver had looked more like Johnny Depp and less like Oliver from the Brady Bunch, more people would be gettin' down to "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" , and crying along with "Wildfire" entirely free from shame. I'm certain the girls would.

So now you know.

Preparing for the Zombocolypse

The other night I asked my husband what would scare him more, seeing a clown coming down our street at midnight, or seeing a zombie. He said he would be more fearful of the clown. You never know what to expect from clowns, but you know that a zombie is just out looking for brains. Every time he buys something I question, he tells me how valuable it will be when the zombies come. He dreams of scenarios where he's protecting civilization from the hourds of undead. All with humor of course.

I thought it was only my husband blurring the lines of fantasy and reality.

Then Zombiehunters.org comes along. I guess he has a few zombist friends that turned him on to this new organization. Their motto is "We make dead things deader."

Here's a little FAQ from the website:

Q: Do you really think Zombies are real or is this some sort of zombie movie fan site?

A: Zombie Squad realizes that it is quite possible for someone to live their entire lives without encountering the undead nuisance. However, we hold fast to the belief that if you are prepared for a scenario where the walking corpses of your family and neighbors are trying to eat you alive, you will be prepared for almost anything.

Zombie Squad is very serious about promoting public awareness of the need for survival preparation and contingency planning.

And here's a nifty powerpoint presentation that wisely reminds the more soft-hearted among us, that the undead aren't just in need of a big hug.

All the funny aside, after reading the site, they are actually a very charitable organization. Maybe we'll start a troop of Zombie Scouts.

Sounds Like Me

I did a little experiment with some of my friend's and family's names. It wasn't at all right. My husband sounded like Nelson Mandela, when he's really more like Ash Williams from Evil Dead.

Anyhoo. Here's me.

There are 22 letters in your name.
Those 22 letters total to 108
There are 9 vowels and 13 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:

Greek	Female	Feminine form of Stephen: Crown; victorious.
French	Female	Crowned in victory.

Your number is: 9

The characteristics of #9 are: Humanitarian, giving nature, selflessness, obligations, creative expression.

The expression or destiny for #9:
The expression that you exhibit is represented bythe number 9. Your talents center in humanistic interests and approaches. You like to help others as you were intended to be the 'big brother or big sister' type. You operate best when you follow your feelings and sense of compassion, and allow yourself to be sensitive to the needs of others. You work well with people, and have the potential to inspire. This suggests that you could successfully teach or counsel. Creative ability, imagination and artistic talent (often latent) of the highest order are present in this expression. It's possible that you're not using or developing all of these capabilities at this time. Some of your talents may have been used at an earlier time in your life, and some may still be latent. Be aware of your capabilities, so that you can make use of them at appropriate times.

If you are able to achieve the potential of your natural expression in this life, you are capable of much human understanding and have a lot to give to others. Your personal ambitions are likely to be maintained in a very positive perspective, never losing sight of an interest in people, and a sympathetic, tolerant, broad-minded and compassionate point of view. You are quite idealistic, and disappointed at the lack of perfection in the world. You have a strong awareness of your own feeling as well as those of others. Friendships, affection, and love are extremely important.

Undeveloped or ignored, the negative side of the 9 expression can be very selfish and self-centered. If you do not actively involve yourself with work that benefits others, you may tend to express just the opposite characteristics. It is your role to be very involved with other people and their needs, but it may be difficult for you achieve this role. Aloofness, lack of involvement, and a lack of sensitivity mark the low road of this expression.

Your Soul Urge number is: 5

A Soul Urge number of 5 means:
The 5 soul urge or motivation would like to follow a life of freedom, excitement, adventure and unexpected happening. The idea of travel and freedom to roam intrigues you. You are very much the adventurer at heart. Not particularly concerned about your future or about getting ahead, you can seem superficial and unmotivated.

In a positive sense, the energies of the number 5 make you very adaptable and versatile. You have a natural resourcefulness and enthusiasm that may mark you as a progressive with a good mind and active imagination. You seem to have a natural inclination to be a pace-setter. You are attracted to the unusual and the fast paced.

You may be overly restless and impatient at times. You may dislike the routine work that you are engaged in, and tend to jump from activity to activity, without ever finishing anything. You may have difficulty with responsibility. You don't want to be tied down to a relationship, and it may be hard to commit to one person.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

My New Koi Pond

I'd like to thank my husband for helping me roll out that gigantic boulder that had been sitting for two weeks at the bottom of the hole I dug. I'd also like to thank him for helping me put the liner in. He did a great job on the rocks that face the road. We wanted them to be nice and flat and stable so the kids could sit on them to watch and feed the water animals we will be enjoying.


But I am tremendously proud that I did the rest of it by myself- clearing out the red rock, digging the hole, hauling big stones from the back and side yards, and adding the soil and the plants.

Isn't it pretty?

Bullfrog Tadpole Grows Up

I don't pay attention to them much, but my daughter takes care of her animals pretty well. She gets on the internet and finds out what they eat and what kind of water they need and just does it. She's had a crayfish named Larry for about six months who's molted twice and seems to be trucking along just fine. She's got a couple of mail order leopard frog tadpoles in her frog tank. In another tank she's been keeping some bullfrog tadpoles that she collected at Grandma's house in Indiana. Yesterday she found the male (Billy) dead underneath some rocks in the tank. But Cindy up there sprouted front legs this morning and was floating on a lego ship that Josie made for her. I hope that Josie will let her live out the remainder of her life in our new koi pond, and I'll appeal to whatever little bit of compassion the kid has, but if not, and her frog dies, she may learn a valuable lesson. If the frog lives a good long time under Josie's care like little Larry, then I'll learn a valuable lesson.

Today's Letters

Here is Josie's letter with her drawing of a manta ray on the back. Jake wrote a beautiful one too. His handwriting is so much better, but I put it in the box to send before I realized I hadn't taken a picture.

The Tears are Coming Again

Why is it that some children are born so perfect, beautiful, and happy, with good parents and a safe home, only one day for their brain to flip over on them and cause them internal misery that no one seems to understand? The tears are back. She forgot her left from her right and she cried. Breakfast wasn't what she wanted and she cried. I tried to role play how to properly apologize, and she smiled, shivered, clasped her hands together, and, with her eyes wide open, cried.

We can still talk for now. Maybe I can get her to understand what is physically going on with her body, and get her to see that she has anxiety and depression, but it's something you can work through rationally. Maybe people really don't do that so well. I've forgotten how it was before the medication. It was a lot harder on her than I remember.

Thought You Might Like to Know....

....that when I make macaroni and cheese I invariably begin singing the words "macaroni and cheese" to the tune of "Happy Birthday to You". It's fun. Try it.

Macaroni and Cheese.
Macaroni and Cheese.
Macaroni,
Macaroni,
Macaroni and Cheese.

Now maybe it will get stuck in your head when you make dinner for the kiddie's and I will have started an annoying little fad.

So now you know.

Bad. Bad. Bad. Grass.

If you have this stuff, just move. It's easier than cutting it down and digging it up. It has been an accomplice in the endangerment of my children. Cars can't see them when they come down the driveway.

What the hell do I do with this? See that little "fire pit"?

An Old Song of Mine

One of my homeschool homies wrote an eloquent post about trains, and his memory of them, which got me thinking about them too.

I recorded this song (along with four others) in 1995. Actually Glenn and Jonathan Reynolds recorded it for me with their pal Doug Wienstein. I think I still owe them a case of beer. In 2002, Glenn put it on disc for me. In all the years between, I hadn't gone looking for the recording, because I tend to cringe when I hear myself. When I actually did listen to it, I thought it sounded pretty good. It sounds pretty good to me today.

I did have a tendency to sing everything a bit to loudly with a bit too much vibrato, and I think I tried to cram in a few more words than the song needed, and I could have had someone play guitar besides myself, and.....well, you better listen now because I will probably take it down tomorrow.

Since I can't find a way to embed it, click this here purple word.

Are We Labeling Schizophrenics as Autistic?

Pardon me while I ramble on about a bunch of stuff that confuses me.

In this article, Cho's relative states that he was given a diagnosis of autism when he was young. I wonder what his behaviors were and what kind of testing was done. I'm sure there are some behaviors of psychopaths ( or maybe schizophrenics) and autistics that are similar. Forgive me, I don't know the DSM IV for all of these things, I'm no Dr. Helen, but I know that autism in children used to be called childhood schizophrenia. It seems possible to misdiagnose schizophrenia as autism too. A paranoid fear of the people around you could make you behave in an autistic manner. You would avoid eye contact, be a loner, be highly sensitive to a lot of environmental stimuli because of a high level of anxiety. Conversely, you could be highly unresponsive to the environment around you due to existing in a dream world. Maybe you would avoid talking to others to the point that your speech is impeded, as Cho's very obviously was. These behaviors go under the autism umbrella. Autistics also suffer from sometimes violent and dramatic meltdowns. Do schizophrenics do the same thing? Is this also bi-polar behavior? Of course a person could be diagnosed with both disorders. How terrible. But autism carries with it a lot of co-morbid conditions like anxiety disorder and bi-polar disorder.

This case really brings home to me why it is so important to get the proper diagnosis for your child, especially if they are violent. You get the diagnosis so that you can get the proper treatments, not so you can go "Hey, I know why Bobby's weird. He's autistic," then leave it at that and release him into the world, where he could still be a danger to himself and others. It seems like that's what Cho's parents did.

The behavioral problems associated with autism can be helped with diet, medications, occupational therapies, and social skills groups. Sometimes as a highly functioning autistic child grows up they become more aware of themselves and their relationship to their environment, they become better able to move through the world by making adjustments. I'm not saying that autistic people can't be violent, but I don't think a psychotic person could do that kind of adjusting. They have lost touch with reality, and need some major interventions and medications. And they don't need to be let loose at a University.

Yikes! I'm a DOOH!-fus

When demonstrating to your young son how the prongs on a dog's shock collar can dig into the animal's neck, by wrapping it around your own neck, make sure it's not turned on at the highest setting. Or at least whisper your instrUCK!-tions.

Mmmm. Zoloft.

I know I'll catch crap for this. Anything for a funny I always say. Believe me, when you see your kids sitting around with their friends and discussing their diagnosis and medications, there's nothing left to do but laugh. Gotta keep that sense of humor.

Mad TV "Public School House Rock"

Chrome-Me, and Other Self Portraits in Pencil

Here's the original photo that I used as a reference for my drawing. The images below are all of the actual drawing, and not the photo. The thing that surprises me is how realistic the drawing can look with photo imaging software.

This is the drawing with a chrome effect.

Same portrait with a watery effect.

The original drawing un-retouched.

solarized

Solarized on high.

Colored edges. And the one below is solarized on medium.

11 Years

11 years together. What does it mean? I could tell you all the mooshy stuff, but that's none of your business. Since it's 6:17 am and I have nothing better to do, besides sleep, I'll do a little mathematical study of the 11th anniversary.

In 11 years we have shared a lot:

2 babies

7 dwellings

20 vacations

10 cars (sheesh, that counts the $50 Ford Fairmont as well as the MR2)

5 pets (lets not count fish, kay?)

3 surgeries, 4 hospitalizations (counting childbirth and NICU)

572 rolls of toilet paper

1716 loads of laundry (I'm guessing more than that though)

12045 meals

4015 loads of dishes

8030 showers with 286 bottles of shampoo

264,000 miles driven

12,045 hours of TV

572 inches of hair

Brushed our teeth 16,000 times

(About 100 tubes of toothpaste)

Shoes! I don't even want to go there!

564,985,342,890,456,792,453,000 germs give or take a few mil.

76 colds? For a family of four 2 colds per year. 14 for the son. 18 for the daughter. 22 for Dad. 22 for Mom.

How many sleepless nights? I don't want to go there either.

What Ever Happened to Guys Like Stevie?

I'm so sick of hearing about bitches and ho's. Once upon a time, black music was for gettin' on your boogie. That's the way I liked it. Uh huh. So take a listen to one of my faves.

Yes, this is food.

This is haggis.

These little guys are haggis balls.

You're sitting with your family in a pretentious restaraunt in Nashville drinking fine wine and eating escargot (really). On that day you've had four beers, two bourbon and 7's, something called a cherry bomb, about 58 holler and swollers, and more Merle Haggard than you care to remember. You try to pretend for a moment or two that you are a civilized family, when some loudmouth at another table declares how much she adores haggis balls.

You know that fit of laughter that hits you so hard you can no longer move or make a sound? The kind of laughter where you sit there with your mouth wide open and your eyes transfixed while your body turns to a hopeless mass of gelatin that shakes and wheezes? That seizure has taken over your whole family, and you stare at your dad just waiting for the Ravenswood Vintner's Blend Merlot to come spewing from his nose. You have a mouthful of $28 steak with hollandaise sauce, and hope that it's not pouring between your fingertips as you use your hands as a dam across your clenching teeth. Then the waiter comes over to fill your water glasses and stares wonderingly at the family with that guess-I-had-to-be-there look.

Well. I guess you had to be there.

Letters to Sailors

I had the kids dictate their letters to me, then I wrote them out and they copied them with their best penmanship. I love what Jake wrote here.

I thought this was a pretty good likeness of Jake, don't you? See the circles around his eyes due to allergies? The messy hair due to homeschooling? The sword and the shield he uses to defeat laundry monsters? (I'll have to tell you about laundry monsters later.)

Josie's handwriting was beautiful. At the bottom she drew some whales.

This is such a great way to teach my kids letter writing, improve their penmanship, teach them compassion, and maybe give a soldier or sailor a little laugh. If you want to do this with your kids, go to www.anysoldier.com and pick somebody from the list. Put a stamp on your letter just like you would if you were sending domestic mail.

I Love Scott Adams.

Hubby and I were talking about how nice it would be to invent a Shrinkerator. It would take all the big things that get in your way and make them nice and small. Like when you moved to a new house, you could just shrink all your stuff and carry it over. Storage would be such a snap. I reminded Dear Husband that any time a convenience item is invented that we just can't live without, it will become regulated and taxed. He said "No, because we could just Shrinkerate Congress and put them in the Cuisenart. Rurrrr! Rurrr! Rurrr!"

Then I read todays Dilbertblog. It would be much more fun to keep Congress actual size, that way it would be easier to get that field of rakes scene in HD.

This Would Scare Me.

Family set upon by angry bicyclists in San Francisco.


The other side of the story.

Here's some video of one of these protests.

Do these people want to change minds, or just piss everybody off?

Just watch it all if you have the patience. There's a very sensible motorist towards the end who gets treated like crap. They are driving against traffic in several places, and creating mayhem in general. I doubt the cause is to promote eco-friendly transportation. I'm actually pretty impressed with the patience level of motorists in San Francisco. Nobody made target practice out of these guys.

To Fritz:

I agree that everyone should chill out.

What I saw on that video wasn't chilling out. There were people stopping traffic, driving the wrong way, daring motorists to hit them by standing in front of their bumpers and blocking their way, throwing beer bottles in their car windows. I get the sense this this is not how you personally behave, but I think many of these people in Critical Mass go too far and are out there on bicycles joyfully inciting frustration, fear, and rage on innocent people who are simply trying to get from point A to point B without hurting themselves or anybody else.

I would certainly be inclined to have a reasoned debate on the issue of cyclists and motorists being able to abide by the laws and safely share the road. I have an immediate family member who once was an avid cyclist and is now an amputee, because of a senseless accident with a truck full of idiots.

But the way to fight idiocy is not with more idiocy.

What's Up With the Cost Thing?

I don't know why these health studies always tell us how much of a cost a particular ailment is to the greater society. In this case the study is about autism. If we catch it early we can create a whole bunch of new expensive programs and special schools and how much is that going to cost? I'm truly searching for a reason why parents of autistic children need to feel that responsibility for their child being such a burden on society's wallet, they have much more immediate and personal needs to attend to.

Can I Just Say Something?!

I'm just so freaking tired of my kids talking talking talking talking when I'm trying to tell them to do something, I could just put duct tape over their non-stop lip-flapping mouths! Or put superglue on their precious little lips and just smash. them. together.

Or I could do what Dharma doeswhen she gets really desperate and get out the broom and spin it around me in a circle and say "Out! Out! Out! OF MY SPACE!" Take that barking dog with you too! AND Get A JOB! But they wouldn't hear me because they keep talking talking talking.

Now, if you tell them to be quiet (with extreme prejudice) they start to cry. Then it's just crying crying crying. You can only stand the spray of your own spittle so much as you shush them for the fourty-seventh time in three minutes. Oh and they never hear you when they're crying.

Oh goodness! Now the dog is barking barking barking. I need a drink.

Once I get past the aluminum wonderbra, and the makeup, I so hear what this lady is saying. She must be a mother. God help her.



I'm just venting here. No actual children or animals were harmed in the making of this post, or even shushed, believe it or not.

On a good note, my niece just informed us that she is ready to babysit now. She may have a down payment on a home of her own by the years' end.

Our First Roller Derby

Last night we went to our first roller derby bout. I took pictures but they didn't really come out all that well. So I just posted this one from Wikipedia, because it's super cool. Dad couldn't come because he and his fellow keyboard mercenaries were saving America from the ravages of poorly trained web developers.

Well he missed out, because his favorite things are heavily made up death chicks in fishnet hose. He prefers them accessorized with automatic weaponry, but I don't think he would have been too let down. These girls may have to get permits to carry around their own hips and shoulders if a democrat gets wind of their lethal nature. The EMT had to come out to the center of the rink at one point. A few times the children had an opportunity to study the effects of speed, rotation, inertia, and deflection, and what a nasty run a girl can get in her stocking when she goes careening into a crowd on a waxed floor at 50mph. I also pointed out to them how people in crowds naturally revert into a sort of fetal position when this happens. My kids were on the other side of the wall, because I don't believe they use that instinct enough.

They understood only the basic rules, because I taught them while we were in the car all the things I had learned on Wikipedia 15 minutes before we left.

We were proud to have our own jammer friend to cheer for. She was fast too. Like butta. Josie told our jammer at the end of the bout that she won it for her team. It looked that way to me too. Josie says she'd like to be in roller derby when she grows up. I had to remind her that she couldn't issue death threats to people when they pushed her from behind. She has to work on that, you know.

Unfortunately for Dad, there was a burlesque show during the break. Unfortunately for me I had no help sheilding their innocent little eyes from buxom women ripping each other's clothes off. I told him to cover his eyes. This is his half-hearted attempt. Nothing was really exposed, and the kids had their backs turned. I hear the roller derby will be getting more family friendly.

I thought in the car about how fun it would be to be a roller derby girl. I could do it if I wasn't scared of pain, could skate really fast, had no problems showing my black panties to strangers, didn't cry when I got a run in my stocking, and was any good at sports. Yep. Then I could do it.

Found Nancy Sinatra's Website

Here's one of my favorites.