One interesting thing this Nelle Frances points out is that anxiety in AS people is cyclic. You could go months with only minor upsets and feel like things are getting better and then boom, here come the meltdowns etc. again. She also states that anxiety problems seem to be affected by the lunar cycle. Days of the full moon are troublesome for AS kids. We'll be celebrating Thanksgiving on a big moon day.
Did I tell you that holidays can be a problem too?
Asperger’s Syndrome and Anxiety
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are known to be more naturally ‘anxious’ than their non- ASD peers. The challenges presented by the 5 characteristics of Asperger’s Syndrome (social impairment, communication impairment, sensory sensitivity, repetitive behaviours and difficulty with change) potentially make their world a confusing and frightening reality. Add anxiety to the mix and you may have a child who is anxious and worried 100% of the time. Anxiety and stress over sustained periods of time is shown to lead to exhaustion, the development of allergies and illness.
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome demonstrate their anxiety through a variety/combination of behaviours:-
• Physical symptoms (stomach pains; headache; racing heart; sweaty palms; constricted chest; tight muscles; insomnia)
• Avoidance desire
• Inattention and
• Irritability
Anxiety in children with Asperger’s Syndrome can be triggered unconsciously; when this is coupled with their inability to verbalise effectively it compounds the effects of anxiety – the Asperger child can be extremely anxious, and unable to tell you why (they may not know themselves). They may be able to tell you they have a stomach ache, or don’t wish to go to Joey ’s birthday party, but not know why.
Children with Asperger’s Syndrome are known to have ‘perfectionist’ attitudes towards many areas of their lives, and this can be witnessed through their ‘obsessive/compulsive’ behaviours, their repetitive patterns of behaviour and their difficulty coping with change. This self-imposed ‘perfectionist’ attitude can contribute to their anxiety and ‘pressure to perform’. In other words, children with Asperger’s Syndrome usually place extreme/unrealistic demands on themselves. It’s important to remember this when dealing with an anxious ASD child.
Some useful techniques for supporting an anxious Asperger Syndrome child include:
• Redirection/distraction
• Physical energy ‘burn’ (physical activity such as running, bike riding, jumping on a trampoline, swimming etc)
• ‘Whole-body’ activities (tug-of-war; monkey-bar; rolling on floor/ground)
• Body brushing/massage
• Deep pressure activity (lying under a heavy blanket/cushions/mattress)
• Chewing/sucking (relieves pressure in the jaw)
• Listening (hearing what the Asperger child can tell you)
Anxiety levels in children with Asperger’s Syndrome are ‘cyclic’ in nature, making it more difficult for parents/teachers/carers to identify anxiety triggers. Cycles vary from 4-6 weeks (often linking with lunar cycles). What causes the ASD child mild anxiety one week, may cause extreme anxiety ( and/or avoidance desire) the next.
When our Asperger son was 9 he progressed from a child who was slightly more anxious than his peers, to a child who was extremely anxious, paranoid and agitated in the space of 6 months. Various methods of dealing with anxiety were introduced by the many therapists/professionals treating our son, much of them with conflicting advice. All of them failed to acknowledge the physical symptoms our Asperger son experienced, tending to present the attitude that the anxiety was “self-imposed”, and “if he’s not going to speak about what’s causing the anxiety, then we can’t help him dispel the physical symptoms of that anxiety”.
Our son with Asperger’s Syndrome is now nearly 16, and in the last year has begun to verbalise much more about his experience of that time. He tells us he was very frightened by his physical symptoms, and most of the time he didn’t know what it was about a situation or event that was causing him anxiety, he just knew that the thought of participating sent him into panic. The ‘fight or flight’ response occured almost immediately (before he’d had a chance to process the feeling of panic) and he felt he had no control over his world.
He also says we should’ve listened to him more. For example, if he said didn’t want to go to Joey ’s birthday party, we should’ve understood that he:-
a) knew birthday parties were fun
b) liked eating party food
c) liked singing Happy Birthday
d) knew all the other kids were going
e) wanted to be like all the other kids
We should’ve understood that if there was any way he could’ve coped with the party, he would go. At that point he’d already tried 100 things in his head to talk himself into going. In saying he didn’t want to go, his real message to us was “I can’t cope with that today”.
As you support your child with Asperger’s Syndrome to cope with their anxiety be mindful of ‘hearing’ them – not all avoidance desire is ‘manipulative’ behaviour.
Yes, children with Asperger’s Syndrome can be manipulative, but their desire to not be ‘different’ together with their ‘perfectionist’ attitudes is a strong, internal force that drives them to be all they can be.
11 comments:
I find this post quite helpful. My four year old daughter was recently diagnosed with Asperger's, and she is extraordinarily anxious. Your comments on the cyclic nature of anxiety really comforts me as Camille is in the middle of one one of her anxious phases now. I don't know what triggers these, but she as well as the entire family suffers through them until they wane. I feel a little better after reading your post.
thank you for this post, my 7 years old seems to be have a very cyclical anxiety pattern. and with age it seems to get worse, and to top it all off his classroom teacher, thinks he is just plain manipulitive, even though he loves school. it is nice to know that this is "normal" for an aspergers chile.
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EXCELLENT info! My 10 yr old son has AS, ADHD, and Sensory Integration issues. Severe Anxiety disorder was just recently added to the diagnosis.
He takes it out on himself physically such as picking at the skin on his fingers til they bleed, biting his lips, punching/hitting himself, etc. He's now on topamax to help with the moods/anxiety.
Thanks for his information!
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Nice article. I wrote about one other "side effect" of anxiety in children -- anger and the aggressive behavior it brings.
These cases can go misdiagnosed and cause great problems for the anxious child ..really just making matters worse!
Add Asperger's to the mix and it can get ugly... parents stay informed and good luck.
We have a son AS who is 17. He is in the middle of his first anxiety breakdown. He has struggled with anxiety which is cyclic forever but usually has been short lived. We are so thankful for his verbal insights now that he is older. He told us when he was younger he could get him self out of the pattern of anxiety with use of distraction - This time it was impossible and he was having panic attack on panic attack. We have just started medication. We have discussed the fact that his talent for detail and memory which are an wonder gift can also cause him to become overwhelmed and end up in overload. We do feel badly that we might have missed the clues leading up to this "breakdown". School stress and development issues might be the big one right now.
Is this anxiety escapable? I know Asperger's can't be cured but is Asperger's without anxiety possible?
I honestly don't really care too much about the bad social skills aspect when thinking about it long-term, but often do in short-term situations. Sitting here on this computer I've realized as I have millions of times before that if I could just not be worried about making social mistakes I would socialize a lot more and the mistakes I do make aren't actually the kind that put people off much anyways.
That's why I don't look into social skills training, because I have the feeling it will encourage me to become more anxious, more worried about making these mistakes. I just want to learn not to care about the minor mistakes.
I keep telling myself-OK I'm not going to let it bother me anymore when I say something weird, lose the words of what I was about to say, etc. and then when it actually happens I get bothered. Logically I know that letting it bother me is ruining my happiness and self-esteem and it would be better for me to let these things go. I even get upset at myself for letting myself be upset by these things. Sometimes I know something will be fun but I feel too nervous and I examine why I'm nervous about it and I'm thinking to myself "Why? Why is that important? Why do I care so much?! Why can't I quit caring so much about things?"
I need some healthy apathy to combat these perfectionist tendancies, but proactively trying to be apathetic is a contradiction in itself. Any advice?
hi anon,
i'm a 26 year old male with AS. basically you're fucked to put it mildly. The only real way to handle social anxiety is force immersion in social situations. since our emotional and social learning curve is so much higher, we have to work a lot harder than a person would normally. the only way you can even begin to start that is a lot of trial and error.
the only way to get ahead is to just work at it. there's no fun shortcuts for learning other people's emotions. the worst part is when you realise you logically understand other people's emotions better than most people who are supposedly normal do. it is extremely hard to cope with anxiety and depression as a person with AS.
you pretty much just have to suck it up and pressure through. Try not to dwell on the past or individual incidents and focus on the bigger pictures and patterns. i realise that's easier said than done.
try to avoid substance abuse, it is a very slippery slope for a person with AS as we start to feel that we are interacting with others normally and desire that much more strongly than a 'normal' person would.
This is such an important topic. Thanks for sharing.
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