Tuckaleechee Caverns

Today we took a little field trip. Josie thinks she's a tour guide. A very loud tour guide. " Look everyone! That's a bacon formation. Look! Soda straws! It's cold! Just rub your arms like this and you'll warm up! Hey! Doesn't that look like a cat!? See Smurf Village?! Oh! I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared! That's a big drop! It really is a big drop!" On and on.

Here's me: "Josie, shhh. You can tell her that later. We're not telling stories today. Stay with me. Get off that. Shhh. Jake. Come. Here. Stand here here here. Look at my finger. See where I'm pointing? Just stand next to her for the picture. Here. Here. Good. Whoops, I know. It's slippery. Just get up. No you don't have to cry. Okay, say 'Cheese'."

"Why do I always have to stand on the left?!! Jake always gets the right! OWWWW-WUH! HE PINCHED ME!!!"

"Okay, Josie just stand on the right then. Shhhh. Jake don't pinch. Smile. click!"

I was kind of expecting the tour guide to say "Watch your step here. Okay. Can I have your attention? Up there is what we like to call Smurf Village. What you see here is brimstone. Over there is fire. We like to call this place we're standing the third ring of Hell. If your under ten years old raise your hand. Okay. Here's your red hot poker. Feel free to dance around your parents in a maniacal and menacing way. Parents, don't step too far off the path, that's the fourth ring of Hell down there. It's a four hundred foot drop, and the kids down there drink nothing but caffiene and red food dye."

Afterward we went to a restaraunt in Alcoa and had some great fish. I had half a margarita and then made the waitress take it away. I'll laugh about it later.