Yay, Roller Derby

I want some of my peeps to see this too. Maybe my folks will want to go when the roller girls are in Louisville, or Nashville.




Hat Tip to no school just learning. Of course.

Crybaby

Jake has been called a crybaby a time or two. He's very sensitive, and likes everyone to know about it.

Tonight he was playing a dangerous game involving a cardboard box and a screwdriver. It's a knife throwing exercise Dad taught him. Delightful. Anyway, he comes in this evening to tell us he got hurt and he didn't even cry. He's walking around trying to find us, and we meander around trying to find him. We followed the trail of trickling blood to the living room where he was apparently going in order to rest on the couch. Ray directed him to the bathroom, while I cleaned all of the spots off of the (thank God) hardwood floor.

I came in to see how he was doing in the bathroom.

"Dad, the screwdriver bounced off my toe, then it stuck in the ground."

"Yeah son, it looks like it bounced off the bone."

"Really?" (nervous giggle).

"Yeah."

This weekend Jake drove a boat and injured himself being irresponsible with a sharp object.
I'm a bit sick at my stomach, but otherwise very very proud.

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. ~Lao Tzu

Even when all seems lost, never give up.

From Ace O'Spades.

Just the Two of Us

Yesterday was my one year blogiversary. It was also the day I planned on celebrating my one year homeschooliversary. I was planning something monumental, something to show how much I cared. Then I had a stressful and long day. Then I thought I might just note it before I went to bed last night. Anyhow it passed without fanfare, and I'm mad at myself.

I've apologized over and over. But I'm still giving myself the silent treatment. I've tried chocolates and flowers but I still am giving myself the cold shoulder. I promised myself I would make it up with a really excellent belated post. Myself is warming up to the idea.

Relationships are hard work, people.

"Was I Good Today, Mama?"

Today we went to the park to meet with the other homeschoolers. It's an every Wednesday thing that we enjoy. My friend Dharma came along with her two girls Rain and Autumn, and the weather was warm enough for swimming, so everyone wore their bathing suits.

The kids were eager to get in the water, so after slapping the sunscreen on, they ran right in. The three girls decided it was great fun to have a mud fight and got plenty dirty before swimming around. Jake was doing his thing, splashing around with some friends made on the spot, then coming ashore to show them his hand stand technique.

I was talking to the other parents, minding my own business, when I notice a concerned expression on Dharma's face. She's looking out into the water as if she's trying to hear something. I notice a small group of kids crowding around this hulking girl that is "all up in" my daughter's face. I watch Josie, craning her neck, but not stepping back, say with a great big grin "You're twelve?! My cousin is twelve too!" I didn't hear exactly what the hulking girl was saying, but she was wagging her neck around, and I could hear her mocking Josie's voice, still standing in this aggressive pose. Soon my kid, still grinning, swims a little bit away to play by the ropes. After that, I could see the bully talking to the little gaggle of kids behind her, saying stuff about my kid that I can't even remember through the red that was forming in front of my eyes. I could tell she was showing off for the littler kids who seemed to look up to her. I noticed Rain and Autumn were facing this girl, I couldn't hear what they said. I gathered they were attempting to stick up for Josie in front of this intimidating little crowd. Next I heard the hulky girl say "She's your friend?! How can you stand her? She's such a brat!"

I decided to let the circle of Josie-haters know that I was there and could hear what they were saying. A littler girl yelled out to me "That girl threw mud in her hair!" pointing to Hulky. I told the kids, as if they would really give a shit, "she wanted to play with you, it's a game for her, she didn't know she was being mean." (I understood that having mud thrown in your hair could be disconcerting, and may warrant a bit of chewing out, but this girl was going for the Oscar and it was getting out of hand. Add to that the kind of chuckling by the smaller kids that comes along with someone sharing a naughty secret, and my sympathies disappeared.)

I call Josie in to talk to her. I ask her if she could tell that that girl was angry and wanted to fight her. My child told me "no". She was surprised to hear this information. I explained how you can't start a mudfight with total strangers, and you should never start one without asking permission. She was clear and went back out to swim after having a sandwich.

I asked the homeschoolers I was with if they ever wanted to throttle someone else's child, and if I was a total jerk for wanting to go out there and commence to some mighty spanking. One of the parents told me a story about how he told a girl to never come back to his girl scout troop. I asked him why, and he began telling me about her behaviors. It sounded to me as if this girl may have had ADHD or some spectrum thing going on. I asked him if he thought she was a normally developing child, or if she was neurotypical. He looked at me as if I was bonkers. I shouldn't have asked in the first place, I know.

Back out in the water, another drama was unfolding. A boy was paddling a boat full of kids, Rain and Autumn included, round and round the swimming area. Josie cried out for them to wait for her. He began paddling faster. She managed to catch up. After a great struggle, with him still paddling for dear life, she managed to get on. The paddling boy yelled for all the kids to jump out when Josie got in.

I wanted to take her out of there now.

I got all of our stuff gathered up and yelled for the kids to come on. We were going back to Dharma's house to swim there, so I took Rain and Autumn along in the new minivan so they could try it out. Rain said "Everyone was calling Josie a weirdo out there." I said "I saw you sticking up for her, Rain. You're a good friend." I drove on a little lump in my throat.

Josie seemed totally oblivious to all that had gone on there. Naturally. This misunderstanding of facial expressions, and social interaction, and not knowing when you're being teased or rejected is a common aspie trait. She just went on and on about the dachsund she played with, and the baby bird hopping around the park, and a myriad of other delightful subjects, as we drove.

Everything went well at our friends' house, and we came home around 5 o' clock. When we saw Dad, I told him we went to the park and then we swam at Dharma's.

Josie stood in the living room shivering a bit in her bathing suit, and turned to me with her big eyes, and an expectant smile. She had her hands clasped under her chin and her shoulders up. "Was I good today, Mama?"

"Yes, baby, you were good today."

Ewww. Diving Beetle!

This cute little guy is called a diving beetle, but he's also called a water tiger. They feed on tadpoles among other things. Josie found him swimming around in the shallow water on top of a pool cover surrounded by tadpoles. She named him Spike. I'd like to call him Hurley, Ralph, or Chuck. He's living in my house. I won't be sleeping well tonight.

Social Skills, Asperger's, and Homeschooling

I just read something about Asperger's kids that I'd like to share, it's a major reason why I've chosen to homeschool, and decided to ignore the advice of the developmental psychologist who told me she needed to go to school for the socialization.

From Parenting Your Asperger Child by Alan Sohn Ed.d, and Cathy Grayson, M.A.

"Schools tend to focus on academics. Many Asperger children have fairly well-developed academic skills. It will be the cognitive, behavioral, social, and emotional issues that will be the most important ones for your child to learn. You will be your child's most important teacher because you spend more time with him than anyone else and, also, because he needs to demonstrate the appropriate skills in the real world, not just in a classroom."


My first question about this quote is, does a child in school really spend more time with his parent than anyone else? You factor in the time you spend rushing your kid off in the morning, about an hour, not really quality time either. After you pick them up, she needs a bit of time to decompress, play a game on the computer for an hour. After that, you talk to her about the phone call you recieved from the principal and explain to them how it's innapropriate to pretend you're a barn swallow during math or some such thing, then she has homework you can both cry over. After that is dinner. After dinner, Dad wants to play with the kids, as he should. Story time. Bed time.

My second question is, what's more important to my child's life, the classroom, or the real world? Is a classroom even marginally close to the experiences of real life? In the real world she is confronted with more choices, but also allowed more choices. She meets people of all ages and goes everywhere I go, the grocery store, the homeschool co-op, the roller derby....In the real world, she's not under a microscope and can develop coping mechanisms without being overly-traumatized at the same time.

And is a classroom a very good place to address the most important "behavioral, social, and emotional issues", or does the classroom environment just exacerbate the problem with social skills?

I sent her to school on the advice of an otherwise really great developmental psychologist. I thought I was finally doing what was right. What I didn't know was that the child spent the whole day at school performing innapropriate behaviors that the teachers had no time to address, or didn't observe. Other children spent a good deal of time being entertained or bothered by her behaviors, or teasing her. And two months later at a meeting with the principal and the 5 others (teachers, nurse, administrators, and a psychologist), I find out about 15 other major incidents that they saved up just for this meeting instead of calling me about them that day. All the opportunities to educate the child in social skills were neglected in that time and the anxiety and behavior become worse and worse, and the her reputation suffers. Did you know in my daughter's public school last year they waited a month to tell me about my her removing her clothing in the cafeteria? And that they blamed her for this incident instead of the kid who told her it was fun and okay to do it? It was clear my kid was not in full possession of her faculties. I should have taken her out of school the moment I heard that story. My bad.

Anyway, why spend 12 years teaching a child with a social disability how to survive in a school environment, only to later have to teach them how to live in the real world? Why not teach them how to live in the real world first and introduce them to the idea of school when they are old enough to go to college and have a handle on what to do with their life? I would say a young adult with asperger's is more likely to find comfortable social groups at a technical college, a group of D & D geeks, or in the AV club, when they are older, without all the baggage of being an outcast in public school growing up.

Homeschooling my child has allowed me to introduce her to situations more slowly and tackle social and behavioral issues when I see them. I can tailor a program just for her to help her navigate the real world. I know the kids she plays with, and the parents understand the situation, many of them are dealing with similar issues in their children as well.

So now we're part of a co-op and developed a small group of friends, and we're in gymnastics, and she's beginning to get educated not only in balance and coordination, but personal space, interrupting, and volume control. We've begun to do a lot more schoolwork with a lot less tears, but it's because I really have decided to devote my time to my child and am blessed to have the means to do so. I really do spend more time with her than anyone else, and I am her most important teacher. Little by little things will get better, and poor behaviors will be replaced with new appropriate ones, and I will hold her hand less and less. One day she will grow up and disconnect from me, and leave the nest.

It's funny to me how this has come around to a bird metaphor, because she's in love with birds, and believes she will find a way to fly someday. She'll have to fall a little more than the others, and I'll have to be there to pick her up more than most moms, but she will fly, because I am here with her on her journey, and am able and willing to teach her how to navigate the world with a more positive outlook, and I am here when she needs a place to rest.

Picture Stories for Asperger's Help

I decided to go ahead and try out this picture story thing with my daughter. In gymnastics class this morning, she spent most of the time disturbing the peace. She goes up to eleven, you see, and everyone has to hear everything that comes into her head, and they have to hear it as if she's shouting from the rooftops. Kids with Asperger's aren't trying to be disruptive, and aren't acting out to get attention. They simply don't understand the unspoken rules of behavior and communication. I suffer from the affliction of believing that since my kid is no dummy, that she should know these rules from me telling them to her. You should hear me. At least 10 times before the class today I had to go to her and say "Your volume, Josie." Maybe someday she'll come back at me with "Your valium, mommy." Ha. Well, anyway, the thing about Asperger's is that these kids are incapable of learning social rules simply by hearing them. They have to be convinced, and they have to know "why". That's where my little pictures come in.



I explained the scientific theories of sound waves and interference by drawing out a picture of her gymnastics class. I indicated Josie's sound waves as she was interrupting her teacher, Brian. I showed his sound waves colliding with hers. I made sure to show exasperated expressions on the other girls' faces. She watched as I drew and I explained how the girls were hearing his sound waves mixed up with hers, and how they couldn't learn when this happened. I asked her to tell me which character on the page was the "expert". She told me it was Brian. I asked her who was more important for the girls to hear. She beamed at me and said "Brian!"


Then I drew this next picture of a class full of girls that listen to their teacher. I asked Josie to tell me why they were smiling. She said "cause they can hear". I asked her what they learned. She said "gymnastics". Then I drew little muscles on their arms and showed her how they all got strong. After that I drew her teacher with a little tear on his cheek because he was so proud of his students. I told her he was dreaming that they would go to the Olympics. She enjoyed this whole exercise immensly, and I thought I saw a little lightbulb. Maybe that's just me dreaming.

I also told her that if she could be quiet for at least 15 minutes of her class next week, she would get extra computer time.

This is an unscientific study, folks. We'll see how she does. Of course I won't know if it was the picture story or the computer bribe that helped if things go well next week, but if it works I'm willing to make it my new Pavlovian habit, right up there with my nine year habit of talking my head off to a kid who doesn't get it.

They're National News Now

Fred Phelps and his fellow troglodytes have crawled out from under their rock, and will be protesting at Jerry Falwell's funeral. I think it will be good for them to get some national attention, maybe someone will finally lose their patience with this kind of crap. I think a law against protesting at funerals wouldn't infringe unduly on anyone's rights.

Another New Favorite Thing

OMG! I have wanted to say this so many times! Here's a website called Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid. I'll have to submit a story someday. I've got a whole mess of them.

Teacher Terrorism

Just another reason I'm glad I'm taking responsibility for my kids' education. Apparently some jackass schoolteachers in our great state of Tennessee thought it would be a dandy idea to subject children to the horrifying experience of being taken hostage by gun wielding black-hooded bandits. Oh how fun! You might worry that your children could come home from an overnight school camping trip with a tick or two, but not with post-traumatic stress disorder.

I'd sue the shit out of them if they did that to my kids, and after I was done with that, I'd make sure these guys bought some adult diapers because I'd use my lawsuit proceeds to hire people with toy guns to pop out of the bushes and from behind alleys wherever these asshats dared to venture. Of course, I'd probably get arrested for that, not just suspended for two weeks.

My New Most Favorite Thing

I bought this little gem at a used curriculum sale for one dollar. "So what?" you say, but if you look it up on Amazon, you'll find that it is not easy to get, and if you can find it, it's usually sold for an exhorbitant price. Why is this book my New Most Favorite Thing? Because it is so delightfully un-P.C.

It was written in the early 20th century, soon after World War I, by the headmaster of Calvert School, who from their founding have provided missionary homeschoolers with curriculum. That's not the reason I like the book though. I'm not a Bob Jones type Christian Homeschooler. I'm more of a Regular Joe homeschooler, which I fear is pretty rare. I tire easily of radical points of view. I'm just as put off by the "never sit your child down and make them read a book" radical unschooling philosophy, as I am by the "never let your child even entertain the thought that the world is older than 6000 years" radical Christian philosophy. I find them unreasonable. I don't like unreasonable things.

I think this book knows for whom it was written, and is painfully unaware of how unfairly it's innocent little viewpoints would be viewed almost 100 years later by an audience nearly suffocating on Orwellian new speak. It was quite a reasonable book for its time, and if our present society wasn't so brainwashed into stupifying moderation by it's fear of offending the too easily offended, and if our present society hadn't lost it's sense of humor because of these fears, it would be a reasonable little book for children today.

My little book would be on trial today for it's patriotic nationalism:

"but the Jews wanted a real king as their enemies had and other nations who were their neighbors. Strange they wanted a king which so many countries have tried to get rid of--we should think they would have preferred a President as we have."

My little book would be on trial today for its apparent bigotry:

"We don't know how nor when nor where colored people first lived, though it is interesting to guess."

and

"If your name is Henry of Charles or William, you are probably an Aryan. If it is Moses or Solomon, you are probably a Semite. If it is Shufu or Rameses, you are probably a Hamite."

(I do discuss these ideas with my children. Interesting about the "colored people" remark- this is not a Young Earth book. It talks about the Big Bang theory, and Neolithic man. It's strange to me that the author wouldn't entertain the thought that primitive man emerged in Africa as well as the Middle Eastern regions. So I did discuss this apparent ignorance with my kids.)

My little book would be on trial today for viewing history from a Christian perspective:

"The Greeks believed in many gods, not in one God as we do and the Jews did, and their gods were more like people in fairy-tales than like divine beings. Many beautiful statues have been made of their different gods, and poems and stories have been written about them."

I do appreciate how the author addresses the children with the assumption that they are Christian and yet allows them to truly delight in learning about other religious beliefs in a light-hearted way. Chuckling was allowed, without fear of being branded a bigot. It was okay to have a point of view, and find other's points of view strange, new, and intriguing, make a judgement on it, and perhaps get a laugh. Today if an educator said some of these things he would be sent off to reprogramming. If certain points of view are repressed and censored, how do we have dialogue and debate?

My little book might have gotten called archaic and gotten relegated to some out-of-print section on Amazon, and that is sad because so many children wouldn't get to read gems like this:

Chapter 41

Nightfall

It was 500 o' Clock by History Time.
Night was coming on.
The Dark Ages had begun.
At least, that is what people call it now. But people didn't call it so then.
Crazy people don't think they are crazy.
Ignorant people don't think they are ignorant.
So the Dark Ages didn't think they were dark.

Or this:

"Well we have now reached the seventh century--the six hundreds, and we are to hear of a man who to make a change in the whole world. he was neither a Roman nor a Greek nor a Frank nor a Goth nor a Briton. He was neither a king nor a general, but only a ---
What do you suppose?
A CAMEL-DRIVER!
And he lived in a little town called Mecca in far-off Arabia. His name was Mohammed. Mohammed went on an errand for a wealthy Arabian lady, and the lady fell in love with him. although he was a poor camel-driver and only a servant and she was rich, they were married."

The author goes on the write about Mohammed's vision of the angel Gabriel and how muslims pray, how Islam grew. He paints a pretty picture, but he is also honest about how eventually people were being converted by the sword.

"But very soon they began to force others to become Moslems whether they wanted to or not. Like the highway robber that says 'Money or your life,' they gave every one a choice. 'Money or your life, or be a Moslem!' This may seem a strange way for people to make others believe their religion, but the Moslems said that Allah wanted all people to be Mohammedans, and didn't want anyone who was not."

Hillyer tells about their defeat in France, but shows that in 110 years they had gone from a vision to a religion that "had conquered and converted the whole of the country bordering from the Mediterranean from Constantinople all the way round the southern edge and as far up into France as Tours."

This headmaster really does seem to tell the Whole History of the World as we know it, from Ramesis to Catherine the Great, from the Babylonians to the American Revolution. He includes great scientists, discoverers, musicians, revolutionaries, villians and heroes. And he ends his book with a warning about war:

Someday man...will invent something a million times more powerful than gunpowder or dynamite--something so explosive that when discovered by some Mr. Swartz it will blow him, his house, his town, his country, and the whole world to kingdom come--and that will be the end of this little spark off the sun."

and an image that gets me choked up:

"Perhaps you looked through a microscope at what seem to be wars between germs. As germs might look up at the eye of the microscope through which we watch their life and death struggles, and wonder what is up above on the other side looking down at them, so we may look up at the the blue eye of heaven above us and wonder what all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful being up there is watching our own life-and-death struggles here below.
Our little world, which seems so immense to us, is really only a tiny speck, only one of countless other specks floating in space; it is like one of the tiny motes which you may see any time in a sunbeam that shines in at the window. Who has an eye so keen that he can count the moving motes in such a beam of light? Who would miss one such grain of dust if it should disappear? So this grain of dust we call the World and all of us who live upon it could vanish without ever being noticed!
This story ends here, but only for the present, for history is a continued story and will never end."


This is a book for kids, and I have learned so much more from it, than I ever learned in my college world history class, and in such an entertaining and enlightening way, that I can't put it down. I'm jealous that I didn't get this opportunity in elementary school.

I forgive my little book for it's lack of sensitivity and it's cultural bias. It's sparked in me a love of history that I wouldn't have otherwise known, given my children something to talk about and investigate with wonder.

More Letters to Soldiers

Josie didn't know what to say, so I told her it was okay to write that. Most of us struggle with what to say to other people, but this is especially hard for her since lack of conversational skills is pretty much the hallmark of Asperger's Syndrome. She still writes awfully cute letters.

Once again, my boy is astounding me with his handwriting. It's so important for him to be closely supervised. When I am not around to check him, he will just wander off or make a mess of his work, but when I am there attending to him, he really excels.

Bjork and Kitties in a Blender.

So well done.

Get the Smelling Salts!

So someone splashes paint on a billboard featuring "El Rushbo", and a city "official" (the guy in charge of cleaning said billboard) gets a chuckle out of it, and let's somebody know, and 200,000 people get the vapors. I know Sanity's dead, but would everyone stop being a bunch of Scarlet O' Hara's for goodness sake?! There are real wars and conflicts to worry about. And if you're not worried about them, then shut up and get a freaking beer and find a game to watch already.

Keith Henson Hates Scientologists....

which earns him 6 months in jail in California.

For "Threatening a Religion".

Fred Phelps says "God Hates Fags" and protests at military funerals.

And gets serenaded by the sound of crickets.

Can we get it over with and declare Sanity dead now?

I'd Like to be a Good Cook.

If anyone consistently liked what I made. And if I ever thought up a meal more than ten minutes before it was supposed to be done.

You Are a Learning Cook

You've got the makings of an excellent cook, and the desire to be one. But right now, you're just lacking the experience. You couldn't be a top chef yet, but you could be an apprentice.

Are You A Good Cook?

Me. Jupiter.

You Are From Jupiter

You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.

What Planet Are You From?

I passed. Did you?

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 7/10 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Math?

Whom Will I Disappoint? Whom Will I Please? Whom Cares?

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 60% Conservative, 40% Liberal Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Fiscal Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal Ethics: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

The questions were sort of leading and limiting. I do think that abortion is wrong since it really kills somebody, and a woman could make something good out of a trauma by giving some childless parents a baby to adopt, but I think making abortion illegal across the board is extreme. I think a company's main responsibility is to it's shareholders, but any entity that has that much power has a great opportunity to do some good in the world, and I wish they would. I think social security is fine, but it would be awful nice to give people the choice to opt out. I think gay people should be able to do whatever they want, but they need to be careful in trusting any government to recognize their marriages on paper. What if the country makes a radical turn for the worse? Should anyone need or want government permission to marry anyway? As far as affirmative action and the like, I don't think anybody deserves "special" status above and beyond their inalienable rights to succeed or fail just like anyone else. Maybe it's the optimist in me, but if Maya Angelou or Oprah could make it with all the trouble they faced in their lives, anybody could. They're not godesses, just people. I think the death penalty is a good thing and should be used more often for child pornographers and abusers, rapists, and torturers. So there.

From Zenari. Now to see if I pass 8th grade math, what planet I am, and whether I am a good cook.

Spoon-Bending

At first I was skeptical, and when I watched the beginning of the video he just had "Fraud" written all over him. But he really does it. If it's not paranormal, maybe it's one of those quantum physics things we just don't understand.

Please Tell Me I'm Not a Tuna Sandwich!

Maybe I didn't answer the questions right because I hate to stop what I'm doing to eat. It's a pain in the butt to find something creative to eat. Usually, I get an apple, then some crackers, then a water, then I decide it's time to eat something real. Usually that is wrapping some bread around some peanut butter. Can I get back to whatever it was that was more important than sustenance now?

You Are a Tuna Fish Sandwich

Some people just don't have a taste for you. You are highly unusual. And admit it, you've developed some pretty weird habits over the years. You may seem a bit unsavory from a distance, but anyone who gives you a chance is hooked! Your best friend: The Club Sandwich Your mortal enemy: The Turkey Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

A Curse and a Blessing (or Thought You Might Like to Know Part 3)

It's both a curse and a blessing that eyebrows grow back. If you have two fighting caterpillars above your eyes that would make a Russian dictator squirm, then it's a curse. If you have a kid who got a bit curious with the razor, then it's a blessing.