"Was I Good Today, Mama?"

Today we went to the park to meet with the other homeschoolers. It's an every Wednesday thing that we enjoy. My friend Dharma came along with her two girls Rain and Autumn, and the weather was warm enough for swimming, so everyone wore their bathing suits.

The kids were eager to get in the water, so after slapping the sunscreen on, they ran right in. The three girls decided it was great fun to have a mud fight and got plenty dirty before swimming around. Jake was doing his thing, splashing around with some friends made on the spot, then coming ashore to show them his hand stand technique.

I was talking to the other parents, minding my own business, when I notice a concerned expression on Dharma's face. She's looking out into the water as if she's trying to hear something. I notice a small group of kids crowding around this hulking girl that is "all up in" my daughter's face. I watch Josie, craning her neck, but not stepping back, say with a great big grin "You're twelve?! My cousin is twelve too!" I didn't hear exactly what the hulking girl was saying, but she was wagging her neck around, and I could hear her mocking Josie's voice, still standing in this aggressive pose. Soon my kid, still grinning, swims a little bit away to play by the ropes. After that, I could see the bully talking to the little gaggle of kids behind her, saying stuff about my kid that I can't even remember through the red that was forming in front of my eyes. I could tell she was showing off for the littler kids who seemed to look up to her. I noticed Rain and Autumn were facing this girl, I couldn't hear what they said. I gathered they were attempting to stick up for Josie in front of this intimidating little crowd. Next I heard the hulky girl say "She's your friend?! How can you stand her? She's such a brat!"

I decided to let the circle of Josie-haters know that I was there and could hear what they were saying. A littler girl yelled out to me "That girl threw mud in her hair!" pointing to Hulky. I told the kids, as if they would really give a shit, "she wanted to play with you, it's a game for her, she didn't know she was being mean." (I understood that having mud thrown in your hair could be disconcerting, and may warrant a bit of chewing out, but this girl was going for the Oscar and it was getting out of hand. Add to that the kind of chuckling by the smaller kids that comes along with someone sharing a naughty secret, and my sympathies disappeared.)

I call Josie in to talk to her. I ask her if she could tell that that girl was angry and wanted to fight her. My child told me "no". She was surprised to hear this information. I explained how you can't start a mudfight with total strangers, and you should never start one without asking permission. She was clear and went back out to swim after having a sandwich.

I asked the homeschoolers I was with if they ever wanted to throttle someone else's child, and if I was a total jerk for wanting to go out there and commence to some mighty spanking. One of the parents told me a story about how he told a girl to never come back to his girl scout troop. I asked him why, and he began telling me about her behaviors. It sounded to me as if this girl may have had ADHD or some spectrum thing going on. I asked him if he thought she was a normally developing child, or if she was neurotypical. He looked at me as if I was bonkers. I shouldn't have asked in the first place, I know.

Back out in the water, another drama was unfolding. A boy was paddling a boat full of kids, Rain and Autumn included, round and round the swimming area. Josie cried out for them to wait for her. He began paddling faster. She managed to catch up. After a great struggle, with him still paddling for dear life, she managed to get on. The paddling boy yelled for all the kids to jump out when Josie got in.

I wanted to take her out of there now.

I got all of our stuff gathered up and yelled for the kids to come on. We were going back to Dharma's house to swim there, so I took Rain and Autumn along in the new minivan so they could try it out. Rain said "Everyone was calling Josie a weirdo out there." I said "I saw you sticking up for her, Rain. You're a good friend." I drove on a little lump in my throat.

Josie seemed totally oblivious to all that had gone on there. Naturally. This misunderstanding of facial expressions, and social interaction, and not knowing when you're being teased or rejected is a common aspie trait. She just went on and on about the dachsund she played with, and the baby bird hopping around the park, and a myriad of other delightful subjects, as we drove.

Everything went well at our friends' house, and we came home around 5 o' clock. When we saw Dad, I told him we went to the park and then we swam at Dharma's.

Josie stood in the living room shivering a bit in her bathing suit, and turned to me with her big eyes, and an expectant smile. She had her hands clasped under her chin and her shoulders up. "Was I good today, Mama?"

"Yes, baby, you were good today."