Don't Eat The Stripey Ones

They Sting!

Today's Lessons

2.6 inches average difference. Jake says " it was very cool when I worked on it." He was way off on some measurements, but he got his toe and smile exactly right. His pointer finger and his ear were very close.
He wanted to play with the calculator, so I taught him how to find an average. We did this when we were averaging his measurements. I showed him how a teacher averages a grade, and how a meteorologist averages the temperature and rainfall.
We also learned about the difference between human hands and feet, and lower primate hands and feet, and the difference between the pelvises. We tried to walk like an ape, and learned why it is important that we walk upright (so we can use our hands to create).

Update: forgot to mention that the subjects covered were Math, Science (including a bit of meteorology), handwriting, using a calculator.

Tyrannosaurus Rex- by Jake

Tyrannosaurus Rex. And the instructions. And the box. Picture by Jake (that is me). Mom set up the display.

Subjects: Art, Following Directions, Science, also some keyboarding and uploading pictures onto the web.

What Does This Dream Mean?

I'm in my house and I hear a scratching on the door. I go to investigate and discover a siamese pekignese(sp?) dog. Siamese as in co-joined. I guess then it was more like two dogs. On of the heads had this extra little eye a bit off to the side. Anyway, I let it in and give it some food. Then I decide that it probably belongs to the neighbor remembering that my neighbor has a mutant dog I think and send it back outside. OOOh, but I want to show my mom this weird dog, cause she lives with me I guess, along with a bunch of strange people who are like extras in my dreams. So I show my mom this five-eyed dog thingy, and explain to her that it is probably some incomplete twin thing and what did she think? But the dog wanted to say something. It had this real ghetto voice and it said "YO! All I wants is a place to sleep and eat! I ain't no trouble. I'll just live witchoo. AAhhh-iiiite?" So I let her come in and live with us.

So what do you think?

Homeless Homeschooling

My question is how much money do we really need to spend to educate our children? How much of education is just sharing what we know with our children? Seems like this little girl is really going to grow up knowing how to survive (and thrive) through poverty and hardship.

Mad Libs

Everything is spelled correctly. We like the word dog for a noun. Aardvarks eat dogs in Mad Libs land.

I had never fished before, but my aunt sadly taught me how to bait a hook with a dog....

Subjects: Reading, Handwriting, Grammar

Some Learning

Josie is out of town, but Jake and I did some schoolwork. He said he wanted to do some second grade work today, so I got out the curriculum. We began our book on evolution (which I'm sure isn't part of the Konos curriculum) and wrote down some key words and definitions. Then we began to measure his body. He's estimating the size of his different parts. When we're done with that, we will see what the actual size of things are, and then compare. We will average the estimate, then average the actual, then find the difference. Hopefully Josie will enjoy doing this too.

Subjects: Math, Science, Handwriting, Reading, Spelling, Grammar. All worked on in the course of an hour and a half, and all connected.

Happiness Is.....

My garden.

Happy Guys.

Happy little guy.

Only 95 calories.

Water Dog.

Being Silly.

Josie CSI

"You know, it's a better idea to start a fire in the basement. It will collapse easier that way. If you start it on the top floor, it probably won't burn very much.

Bunny Blogging

Awwwwwwwwwwwww. Jake saved him from grandma's cat. If he can't find his mother, he will have to be bottle fed. I hope this story has a happy ending. So precious.

My Latest Drawing

I thought her hair was so delightful.

Things are Going to Get Pretty Interesting Around Here

So I just got my KONOS curriculum Volume 3. The first part of the curriculum is devoted to the subject of cooperation. The first ten weeks will have us learning about the human body. I think I'm going to need to find a meat processing facility, because I will be needing a brain, a lung, an eye, and a chicken leg. ( Should I purchase a cauldron too? ) There are also assignments where you check levels in your urine, and type your blood. I don't think we'll be doing anything this year where they have to prick their finger though. I also have to find a place where I can purchase certain chemicals. I'll be sure to blog all of it! Did I mention that the kids will have to blow up that lung with a glass tube?

Squirrelblogging

He looks so content broiling in the heat today.

Photograph

Took some really good pictures of the kids today. They turned out great. It was a bit hot though (96?), and Josie took off her shoes and relaxed under a maple tree. Isn't she pretty? Good thing there's no audio to go with this photo.

Cute

"I don't care if your the freakin' leader of the free world! I want my mama! And that goes for Santa and the Easter Bunny too!"

Flat Squirrel

Here's the squirrel that decided our bluebird house would make a good apartment. He chewed the hole so it was big enough for him to fit through. Sometimes he likes to come out and sun himself. Josie calls it "sunbasking".

I Get So Annoyed at the MSM

You never hear the end of the AP racking up the civilian deaths perpetrated by the Isrealis. It's like "Evil Joooooz" is a subliminal message in their middle east stories. " Get out your calculators folks. So far the Isrealis have killed more civilians." Today, that is. It's interesting to me how this article draws graphic mental images of the death a small Lebanese child in this current conflict. Imagine if we lined up the strollers that were viciously and intentionally emptied by suicide bombers over the years. The story also paints Hezbollah's military capabilities as weak and innaccurate. Remember, radical Islamists don't view civilian casualties as collateral damage, or as accidents of war. They weren't innaccurate when they went into Argentina to blow up innocent people in a Jewish center. Or when they blew up that airplane from Panama, and hijacked flight 847. But of course, they did these things on purpose, but radical Islamists are supposed to kidnap, maim, kill, and torture, we expect this from them. See the subtle bigotry? (Middle Easterners are barbarians after all. We should forgive them their animalistic ways, they aren't as capable of waging a fair war.) The Isrealis are not fighting children. ( Wait, I take that back, Hezbollah drafts 14 and 15 year old girls to carry out suicide bombings.) It's like the media wants Isreal to keep quiet and take a second holocaust like good little Jews. Speaking of little, can you find Isreal on that map up there?

Toddler So Ashamed of His Father's Stupidity, He Shoots Him in The Back

Probably a Glock too. I love this from police Sgt. Tim Schmidt "How he got it, we don't know." and "This is tragic. It's a pure accident." Stick to your day job Obi Wan, the Jedi mind tricks aren't working.

Ever Heard of a "Kitler"?

It's a Hitler kitty. And this one is the best! He's even got the hair. One commenter on the site said this particular kitty was okay though, cause he signed a "tweety".

I'm a Private School Teacher Now

They say I'm not considered a homeschooler now in Tennessee, but I am a teacher at a satellite school associated with Home Life Academy. That keeps me within the law and gives me a lot of freedom to choose how to educate my children without state intervention or yearly testing. Another sore spot for me. Once again the state implies that parents are dangerous to children and shouldn't be trusted, while the public school system is infallible. Why would a loving parent who chooses to homeschool let their child fall behind? Who blames the school system when a kid can't pass a test? Anyway, I'm very excited about signing up with this place, since I have to sign up with someone. Here's their website.

Two Pictures Taken on the Same Day

You see that picture of me to the right on the sidebar? That's how I look everyday. You can hear the intake of breath when I enter a room, even if it's empty. There was no photo touch-up, my skin is so translucent I appear to have been photographed through gauze. If you came to my lovely home first thing in the morning, I would not have a hair out of place. I'm just that pretty.

Of course there are times in every woman's life when she gets a picture that looks like it should have a donation box under it.

Please Help.

I Love Nerds and Their Ilk

This article so clearly states so many of my assertions, but I couldn't properly put them into words. And I think the opinions in the article could apply to any person who is considered eccentric or odd in our society. Sure I would like it if my kid didn't have sensory problems or anxieties, and of course I don't want her to get aggressive with other children. But so much of those anxieties and impulses are brought about by people expecting her to function in an environment designed for neurotypical children. So let's fix the environment. Let's cure anxiety. Those things are the disabilities. I like Josie's weirdness. I like the unusual way she has of looking at things. I've even come to appreciate the fact that she doesn't need the approval of adults or other kids for the things she does, and that embarrassment is a word that doesn't exist on her radar. I love how she can't really lie. My daughter understands so many things that most parents would have to keep from children because she doesn't emotionalize them. She's fascinated by animals mating, killing each other, mosquitos drinking her blood, a spider eating a ladybug she kept in a cage for a week. She collects goose feathers at the park and tries to make wings from them, asking me how she can lose enough weight so that the wings will make her fly. She can walk right up to a boy that she liked from school and say "I like you cause you're tall and handsome" then just give him a hug. (It helps a bit that she's gorgeous). My boy seems weird to other children too. He doesn't understand that you speak differently to boys than girls. He can sound a bit gee-golly, like he stepped out of a black and white sitcom and didn't know how to change the dialogue. That is so okay in my family. I think it takes a great amount of courage and honesty to be geeky. I'd venture that you can't find people more true to themselves than you find at a Star-Trek convention, revelling in their roleplaying games and their oddness.

"Pushing" and "Snapping"

Today we did a little role playing so that they could get a better understanding of what they are doing to instigate fights, and how to change in order to prevent them. It seems to me (and some unfortunate teachers along the way) that my childrens' favorite pastimes are getting into fighting matches, or in Jake's case, screaming like the Bride of Frankenstein (with sound added of course) over the smallest perceived infraction. He also takes after me in one particular way. At times I appear to have endless patience while underneath I am just trying to keep from exploding, and eventually I do explode. And since I'm the adult, I must have the willpower to prevent myself from inflicting harm on anybody. Jake's response to aggravation is to first scream at it, then push it, followed by stomping or biting ( he rarely causes any injury, he just runs out of options and doesn't know how to get her attention). Most of the time the aggravation does not go away, since she's usually sitting next to him playing "Spyro", and is delighted by the sensory stimulation all of this yelling and pushing gives her.

So after an incident this morning involving all of the above, I took my kids into the kitchen and did a little role-playing. I told Josie that she couldn't change Jake, that she could just try to stop doing the things that cause him to snap. I told her that she just pushes too much. She asked me "what is pushing." This was fun to perform. I told Jake to stand still while I poked him in the chest and said "Neener neener" over and over. I instructed him to tell me to stop and I would. So he did tell me to stop. Of course I didn't stop. I just poked and poked and neenered until he was a bit angry and confused, he didn't scream or bite me of course, but she got what pushing meant. So I said "See, you push him like that, and then you just won't stop because you're having so much fun aggravating him. Then he snaps." Then she said "but I don't know what you mean by 'snaps'. " This was really fun to perform. I started out very calmly. "Okay Josie, please don't bother your brother anymore. Josie? Do you hear me? Didn't I just say stop it? Josie? DO THAT ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA TWIST YOUR NOSE OFF YOUR FACE AND MAKE YOU EAT IT!!!" After the laughter subsided, I asked them if they understood how they could change how they were acting, and they said yes. I also told them that I wasn't here to help them resolve all of their fights, and they would have to handle it themselves. If they needed any Neosporin it was in the bottom left-hand drawer in my bathroom by the band-aids.

Right now they are in the basement practicing snapping. They begin by speaking very calmly, then making absurd threats at the top of their lungs. I don't know if they have gathered any conflict-resolution skills from my lecture, but they may have created a new and even more annoying game.

Superman

Bleh.