Oh no. Now I hear I'm supposed to support Dunkin Donuts, because they have a strict policy against hiring illegals. Please don't give me a political reason to eat their chocolate frosted doughnuts. It's like all the patriotic Americans have me vulnerable in a bomb shelter, scooting real close and whispering dreamily: "We may never have the chance again baby. C'mon do it for your country!" Funny how that little scenario would lead to a expanding waistline and years of regret. Just like giving me free rein to eat doughnuts for America. And don't tell me "Well, just get the coffee. Or the bran muffin." Puh-leeez! Who goes into Dunkin' Donuts for the freakin' bran muffins?! Really. Me ordering a bran muffin in Dunkin Donuts is like sending a man into a brothel for a haircut. They're just there for show anyway. If you asked for one, they would probably look at you funny while they dusted it off.
On the other side of the coin, I'm really not fond of Applebee's. And I'm supposed to support them for the same reason. I'm sorry but I'll support them hiring real Americans when they start serving real food. What's up with those riblet things? It's just itty bitty meat that's messy and full of gelatinous fat. It's the stuff I normally cut off, and they charge me for it. Plus, I've never gotten good service at an Applebee's. My sister disagrees and tells me that there was once a really exceptional waiter there who was a magician and could make a cigarette levitate over the table. Magic is all about distraction by the way. She forgot how dreadful those riblets taste, and gave him a big tip I'm sure.